IfYouGiveAMindensenABlog

Where has the time gone?!
This a time of many transitions for me. For those of you who didn't know, I'm currently back at school. I'm a sophomore at Trinity Christian College, studying Business.

The summer ended in a flurry of activities, and I ended my time at Lake Ellen road tripping back to IL with a fellow-coworker of mine (Grant). We followed two other co-workers (Katie and Corrinne) the long way home. Taking the route down through the Lower Peninsula of Michigan. I've never been across the Mackinac Bridge, or seen most of Northern-lower MI/most of the UP before thrn. It was an AMAZING trip. We took it in 3 days. It only takes 6hrs through WI, but I wanted to take the scenic route/make a few stops :)
Our (Grant and I's. Katie and Corrinne diverged from us about an hour before we got there) first night was spent at Cran-Hill Ranch, and we stayed with the Wickes. I hadn't seen the whole family in a little over 1/2 a year. It was nice seeing them again, and catching up. We had fun talking about our different summers, and our new camp experiences. One of the things I love most about Christian Camping is the unity or 'oneness' of purpose (sound familiar Britta **smile**)in the area of Christian Camping. It's exciting to hear how God is working in other places outside of the place you're at. God is SO GOOD, and has been doing some AMAZING things in Christian camps in Michigan, in the US, and around the world (yes, there are Christian camps around the world!).
We left from there for Bair Lake (my 'home-camp' so to speak), and stopped off in Grand Rapids for a quick visit with my brother and NEW sister-in-law (Nate and Tiffany HAMILTON!) at their new apartment. (I♥them!) I'm glad they were home and available. It was a quick stop, and we hadn't planned ahead to stop, so I'm glad they were around :)
So, no trip down 131 from GR is complete without introducing a newbie to B&G, the BEST discount store EVER. I purchased a white Australian, animal theme bandana there... ^^
Anywho, we arrived at Bair Lake in the late afternoon of our 2nd day, and I was able to stop and say 'hi' to a lot of the staff that was around. I was also able to quick swing out and grab STEPHANIE S who was still close by (school hadn't started yet). Unfortunately, my previous roommates/fellow lady-members of the Outfitter program, were not at camp when I was there. They were both with there families at 'home-home'. We had a nice stay none-the-less, and Stephen and I got to talk face-to-face for the first time in a about two months... I'll get back to him once I wrap-up the trip ;) Grant and I finished our trip the next day at my house, where we promptly switched cars in order to take my mom to the train station (long story), and then made it back to my house in time to meet his parents who had just arrived to pick him up (He's from 'southern' IL (technically CENTRAL), but we all know that anything south of Cook county in 'southern' IL right???) ^^ All in all, it was a GREAT trip. You should check out my Facebook for pictures... It was an even more AMAZING summer! God blessed and led in SO many ways! Praise Him!

Okay, back to Stephen. Stephen is one of my best friends, he was also one of my fellow Outfitters, and it has been awesome watching God build our friendship. Honestly, I tell people, we don't have a 'cute' story, but it's one in which God has been able to show Himself mighty. Just being co-workers made us have to work through some things, and learn to respect each-other on some level. We certainly have had our rough times (haven't we??? **smile**), but through it all, I've gained a great friend. I know that he's likely to read this so, I won't put anything in here that I haven't told him already...He's really been there for me, and has been a BIG encouragement to me over the last year. I'm very glad we're friends, and we plan to stay that way. So, yes, if you haven't picked up on it yet, Stephen and I are officially dating, but in all honesty, things don't seem all that much different. Which, I realize could be taken rather 'scandalously', but really all I mean is that we're FRIENDS, first and for most. We now just have a more specified purpose/goal in mind. He knows this, but I could see myself marrying him someday...for now though, we're just taking it one day at a time with God. He still has 1 more year in Outfitters (potentially 2-ish more years of school after), and I still have 3 years of school (as of right now). He lives in MI, and I live in IL... but it's been really good. God has been really good to us. May HE be glorified!

God is GOOD!♥

So, I often find myself needing to re-read some of my own blogs. It's amazing how quickly I forget some of the lessons God has taught me. In this case, I re-read my blog "What is Love". WOW! What a great reminder of my TOTAL INABILITY to LOVE withOUT God.

1 John 4:19 has kind of been back on my mind again. I can ONLY love because God first loved ME. Recently I've been finding that a little hard to accept, which explains why I've been having a little trouble with handling my relationships...on multiple levels. It's amazing how when your relationship with God isn't where it's supposed to be, the rest of your relationships quickly follow suit. Before you know it, your unhealthily depending on other relationships, trying to find that comfort and guidance outside of God...see how things could start to spiral quickly? My relationship with God needs to be healthy and growing in order for ALL other relationships to be healthy. This month has been tough, and I've really been struggling through some things. However, I'm VERY thankful for the people around me who have loved me enough to call me out, to challenge me about the health of my relationship with God. It's really made me think, and it has been a struggle. God and I aren't 'great', and it's going to be a process (which the process never really ends till I'm in heaven). However, I feel closer and more connected to God then I have felt in awhile. I've made some mistakes, and I have some talks I need to have with some people, but my prayer is that because of this time of struggle, my relationships with others will only get stronger. God loves ME, I'm called to love Him back...which empowers me to love others.

God is GOOD! ♥

Ecclesiastes 7:18 say, "It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. The man who fears God will avoid ALL extremes." Luke 11:11-12 says, "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

Now I know to some those two passages don't really go together, but to me right now they mean EVERYTHING. Please bear with me right now because I'm only just starting to get used to writing exactly what I'm thinking, which is generally pretty random, so here I go.

For some reason I struggle with letting myself be happy. If I'm happy I tend to think I'm doing something spiritually wrong, which is a COMPLETE misrepresentation of who God is...which is GOOD! Did you know that? God is GOOD! Sometimes I struggle with believing that, but time and time again God proves that He really is GOOD. That is why I try to end ALL of my blogs with "God is GOOD!♥" because it is something very important to remember. So, back to the passages...as those of you who have kept up with my blog/my life in general know, I recently started down the path of 'non-singleness', and well...it's been GREAT! God has really used the relationship in general to teach me LOTS of things (including this current topic), and has definitely been using my boyfriend to challenge, grow, and strengthen my faith in HIM. However, I started to feel like maybe I was holding on to my boyfriend too tight. I've had kind of a lot of people walk out of my life recently, and have had to say some pretty tough Goodbyes, but one Goodbye I don't think I could do would be saying goodbye to my boyfriend. Then I started to worry...which was my first problem, now that I'm looking back, that maybe since I couldn't POSSIBLY right now imagine giving up my relationship with Jeremy, that meant that I was holding onto him TOO TIGHTLY and needed to break-up with him in order to have a healthy relationship with God. Now here's where the Ecclesiastes verse comes in...I probably really have been holding too tightly to my relationship with Jeremy, but that does NOT mean I'm supposed to just let it go all together...that's just jumping to another extreme. Just because I enjoy a GOOD gift (one that I...my parents, and many others have been praying about in general for, for years) to a little bit of an extreme, doesn't mean I need to go to the other extreme and feel like I need to give it back...'sorry God, what you gave me was just too good and I'm enjoying it too much, so I need to give it back..." That doesn't make any sense. Now YES, I do need to place my relationship in God's hands, and let it be under his control, but my fear of losing people...which makes me hold on to people tightly...which makes it harder for me to let go of people...shouldn't be and isn't a good reason for throwing away a GOOD, ENCOURAGING, God-led relationship. Yes, if my boyfriend becomes an idol, and I start to place him in the way of my relationship with God, I need to ask God to help me switch that back around...dropping the relationship isn't the answer...Placing God back where He belongs in my life IS...

So God, I recognize You as Lord of my life, I thank You for being a giver of GOOD gifts, and even though at times I try to make myself believe that I don't deserve good gifts, You just keep reminding me that...no I don't deserve anything...that's why it's a GIFT :) So, I thank you for Jeremy, and just ask for continued guidance...You ARE GOOD! ♥

God is GOOD! ♥

I know I'm not alone in this, but one thing I HATE doing is saying Goodbye...I especially hate saying Goodbye to a friend. Why do we hate doing that? Because we don't like losing people...we don't like not having people we care about NOT be around. Missing people HURTS. However, when you know Jesus, you can make friends that last FOREVER. It doesn't matter where they end up living here on earth or how far apart you are, you can rest assured that if they KNOW JESUS as their LORD and SAVIOR, you’ll get to spend ETERNITY with them in Heaven. AMEN!

So, be sad. Cry…those are ALL healthy things to do, but don’t let yourself stay there. Start focusing on making friends that last forever, and then you won’t have to miss ANYBODY for very long .

God is GOOD!♥

As most of you know, I am a part of a two-year discipleship program at camp, and I just finished my first year. (This blog is a part of the ‘assignments’ for the program…the monthly newsletter part) I started this program really excited…admittedly nervous, but still excited because I KNEW this is where God wanted me to be, and I KNEW He was going to do GREAT things. However, going into this 2nd year, I have not been as excited. It was a REALLY good year, and God did do A LOT of things. I grew, I changed, I was challenged, I got to witness other people grow, learn and change, but I was tired. I didn’t WANT to be here anymore. The ‘novelty’ of it had run out. It was hard work. It’s tough learning to live and work, do life, and fight spiritual battles with people. Great things happen, but there are plenty of NOT SO GREAT things…However (obviously), I didn’t back out. I had made a commitment for two years, and I knew that I was supposed to stick to it. I thought about my boyfriend, and how God brought us together. How I was really excited…and admittedly nervous, to start out on this new path, but I KNEW God was leading us, and KNEW (know) that God was going to do (is doing) GREAT things…however, I also know that there will come a time when the emotions/the excitement/ the ‘novelty’ will wear-off/go-away. We will face tough times, however, just because I will no longer “FEEL” the same way I did when I made the commitment doesn’t mean I should break the commitment. The reasons for making it don’t change, just the emotions. So, if I wouldn’t drop my boyfriend just because I wasn’t ‘excited’ to be in the relationship anymore or because it ‘got tough’…why would I drop out of the program?

I’m SO thankful that I stayed, because already God has been rebuilding that excitement in me, and has already been teaching me SO much. I LOVE the study we’re doing on Apologetics, and the new people who joined have been really great. It’s going to be another tough year, but it’s going to be another GREAT year of growth, learning, and change.

God is GOOD! ♥

“Dance with me-oh Lover of my soul- to the song of all songs. Romance me-oh Lover of my soul,-to the song of all songs.” Lyrics, mere words to song, but is that really all they are? I’m not exactly sure which worship song they are SUPPOSED to belong with, but for me they have been an addition to the song ‘How He Loves’ **Random interjection: This song came up on ‘shuffle’ while I was writing this blog ^^ ** Have you really ever thought about how God romances us? I mean, everybody talks about how the church is the ‘bride of Christ’, and how a man is supposed to love his wife, like Christ loves the church…but what does that really look like?

For most of my life, I have been single, but I’ve wanted God to romance me… I knew/KNOW that He held/holds…protected and PROTECTS my heart, but it’s only now, as I’m barely in the beginning stages of my first ‘romance’ that God has really been able to reveal HIS ‘romantic’ side in a more personal and REAL way.

My boyfriend and I have a long distance relationship. We met at camp, and spent most of the summer around each other, but this Fall we find ourselves separated by just a ‘few miles’ and a couple of hours; me still at camp and him near Detroit. It’s tough, and there are a lot of times when I really wish that he could be here sharing in some moment/event/ whatever…However, what I’m learning to do is invite God into those moments, and not just to talk. I mean, it’s good to pray to God, and I DO talk to Him about my life and things that are going on, and it IS good to thank and praise Him for who He is and for what He has done, but it’s been AWESOME just letting Him come and BE with me; letting God fill my need for companionship. There are plenty of times when my boyfriend and I will just be hanging out, and we won’t do anything. We just rest and enjoy BEING together…and that’s what I’m learning to do with God. And, you know what? In the long run, it’s more satisfying. What I’m learning more and more is that the things of this world really do NOT give us what we need. God is the ONLY One who can really satisfy. Memories of moments I’ve spent with my boyfriend often bring up a desire to be in that same moment…to repeat it. It hurts sometimes to remember that he is NOT here. However, remembering moments with God are still just as satisfying because God is still JUST AS PRESENT NOW as He was THEN. The moment doesn’t serve as a reminder of the distance, but as a reminder of His Nearness ^^ … Now, here is my disclaimer: It’s not bad to miss people or to look back and remember special moments, you just want to be careful and remember that it is GOD who truly satisfies our need for companionship and who REALLY keeps us from being alone. If we start depending on other people to fill us, we’re only going to end up worse off. People can NOT always be there, and WILL not always be there. They’ll make mistakes, and they WILL disappoint and hurt us…that’s life. God, however, will ALWAYS be there, and will ALWAYS love us.

God is GOOD! ♥