Ecclesiastes 7:18 say, "It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. The man who fears God will avoid ALL extremes." Luke 11:11-12 says, "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

Now I know to some those two passages don't really go together, but to me right now they mean EVERYTHING. Please bear with me right now because I'm only just starting to get used to writing exactly what I'm thinking, which is generally pretty random, so here I go.

For some reason I struggle with letting myself be happy. If I'm happy I tend to think I'm doing something spiritually wrong, which is a COMPLETE misrepresentation of who God is...which is GOOD! Did you know that? God is GOOD! Sometimes I struggle with believing that, but time and time again God proves that He really is GOOD. That is why I try to end ALL of my blogs with "God is GOOD!♥" because it is something very important to remember. So, back to the passages...as those of you who have kept up with my blog/my life in general know, I recently started down the path of 'non-singleness', and well...it's been GREAT! God has really used the relationship in general to teach me LOTS of things (including this current topic), and has definitely been using my boyfriend to challenge, grow, and strengthen my faith in HIM. However, I started to feel like maybe I was holding on to my boyfriend too tight. I've had kind of a lot of people walk out of my life recently, and have had to say some pretty tough Goodbyes, but one Goodbye I don't think I could do would be saying goodbye to my boyfriend. Then I started to worry...which was my first problem, now that I'm looking back, that maybe since I couldn't POSSIBLY right now imagine giving up my relationship with Jeremy, that meant that I was holding onto him TOO TIGHTLY and needed to break-up with him in order to have a healthy relationship with God. Now here's where the Ecclesiastes verse comes in...I probably really have been holding too tightly to my relationship with Jeremy, but that does NOT mean I'm supposed to just let it go all together...that's just jumping to another extreme. Just because I enjoy a GOOD gift (one that I...my parents, and many others have been praying about in general for, for years) to a little bit of an extreme, doesn't mean I need to go to the other extreme and feel like I need to give it back...'sorry God, what you gave me was just too good and I'm enjoying it too much, so I need to give it back..." That doesn't make any sense. Now YES, I do need to place my relationship in God's hands, and let it be under his control, but my fear of losing people...which makes me hold on to people tightly...which makes it harder for me to let go of people...shouldn't be and isn't a good reason for throwing away a GOOD, ENCOURAGING, God-led relationship. Yes, if my boyfriend becomes an idol, and I start to place him in the way of my relationship with God, I need to ask God to help me switch that back around...dropping the relationship isn't the answer...Placing God back where He belongs in my life IS...

So God, I recognize You as Lord of my life, I thank You for being a giver of GOOD gifts, and even though at times I try to make myself believe that I don't deserve good gifts, You just keep reminding me that...no I don't deserve anything...that's why it's a GIFT :) So, I thank you for Jeremy, and just ask for continued guidance...You ARE GOOD! ♥

God is GOOD! ♥

1 comment:

A Wild Rose said...

Mindy! This is beautiful!! I often feel similarly...holding too tightly to those I love. And sometimes I forget that God gives bread & fish--not stones & snakes. Keep seeking God, and His desires will become yours, and you'll be doubly blessed when He gives great gifts because they're in line with His perfect will. All glory to God :)

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