IfYouGiveAMindensenABlog

I am currently sitting in my school's library, midway through my last week of classes for this semester (my first semester at this school). It has certainly had its ups and downs, but I'm pleased to say there are a few things that I'm really actually starting to get excited about.

As a business major there is a lot of talk about 'planning', 'organizing', 'setting goals'. Unfortunately, I tend to feel very inept at setting 'SMART' (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound) goals for myself. Continually, I tend to be more of a ‘goal-oriented’ person… starting to see my general dilemma? So, this semester has been kind of trying because, besides the goal of GRADUATING with some degree (currently Business), I didn’t really have any other focus or motivation for school. However, the other day when talking to my counselor… (Yes, I have one…I HIGHLY recommended it! They provide a great NEUTRAL prospective to life that I find to be extremely beneficial in this rather chaotic time of life)… I ended up on this tangent about a dream I’ve been holding onto for the last few years. Never any real major developments, but I’ve mentioned it from time to time, but this time it seemed to really come to life in that office. I started to get really excited about it. Though, it is very much still just a dream at this point, it’s kind of also become a bit of vision; Something to pray about, and potentially start putting some serious effort into, and more importantly, a ‘tangible’ goal for my current academic pursuit. Instead of just seeing school as a means to just a degree… it’s now a potential means to my DREAM! Like I stated earlier, I only have a few more class periods to go, but I already see a change in how I approach my major-related classes (and in a sense some of my Gen.Eds too). Not that I wasn’t participating before, but I now see them as opportunities to helping my dream take shape.
+1 for school!

Secondly, due to my current lack of employment (as mentioned in a previous blog), I’ve had time to get more involved in ‘extra-curricular activities’ here at school. Last week I was able to go through my Theater (and general art department) orientation, and I am now able to run sound for theater productions. I was given my orientation specifically so I could run sound for a group that was going to be renting my school’s theater for the week. It was my first time running sound for a theater production, and it ended up being lots of fun. This week I am again assisting with another production, expect this one is actually put on by my school’s theater group. I really do enjoy running sound, and it feels good to be back behind a board on a regular basis. Also, it's a digital board which is something I’ve had little opportunity to work with. I currently haven’t had the opportunity (or need!) to benefit from its ‘digital capabilities’, but it’s still something new to learn and experience in an area that I GREATLY enjoy.
+1 again for school!

Continuing on with exciting things, I’ve also been asked to consider applying for a more major role in an on campus group I’m currently involved in, which has the possibility of being both challenging and greatly rewarding. I will more than likely apply, but regardless, I am excited about where the group is heading in general. It will be fun to be a part of it in whatever role I end up being in.
A 3rd + for school!

To conclude on more focused spiritual note: I am VERY thankful to God for changing my attitude, as I’ve really struggled with that this semester; it’s nice to be finding some real joy in school. He’s taught me alot this semester.(James 1:2-4) Also, as I try to pray-fully move forward with my dream, it’s important to remember who ultimately is in control. As I was telling my boyfriend about my exciting new brainstorm (as he is directly connected to the idea), the verse Psalm 127:1 came up. “Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain”. I can run myself ragged trying to make my ‘dreams come true”, but if it’s not GOD’s project first and foremost, I will never truly succeed, and my efforts will be in vain. Therefore, it’s very important that I include HIM in every step of the process. If it’s not His way, if it’s not what He desires, than I shouldn’t do it. On the encouraging side, one of my favorite verses (as many of you already know) is Ephesians 3:20, “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us”, which reminds us that God’s ways are SO beyond ours, and specifically beyond our IMAGINATION…our dreams! God wants to take our dreams and EXPLODE them into something we could never have thought of for ourselves. Isn’t that AWESOME?! I think so… and I’m excited to see what God does. I already REALLY like my idea, so I know God’s way will definitely be ‘crazy AWESOME’ (to borrow the colloquialism)!
+INFINITY for God!

God is GOOD!♥

I've been doing a lot of driving lately, and would like to share some of the things I've 'learned' while driving...

So, you're cruising down the road when suddenly the car in front of you breaks. You're going as fast as legally possible, the lane next to you is open, for now, but it won't be open forever. You have two choices; stay where you are and just break along with the car in front, or quick change lanes and POTENTIALLY zip around/past. I don't know about the rest of you, but I seem to get a little anxious in these kinds of situations. I know it seems silly, but I'm very 'time efficient' minded. I don't like speeding, but I don't like being 'stuck' either. Now, in the last few months I have run into this situation COUNTLESS times, and I've realized something... Just because there are break lights in front and a seemingly open lane next to you, it doesn't mean that a lane change will ultimately be the best choice.

Sometimes, in life, we're have a similar choice to make.

Recently, I've been rather impatient, especially when it comes to school. I don't like being in school, and I just want to be done, get 'on with my life'. I recently seemed to be "seeing break lights" in front of me, in the lane known as Trinity. I didn't feel like Trinity was going to get me to my goal of graduation in the 'fastest' way possible, in fact, I thought it was going to be significantly slower. I saw the break lights, and started turning my head to check for a potential lane change. Well, time continued to tick (just like traffic continues to roll for the most part), and I ended up signing up for another semester while I looked into other options. Some options originally looked REALLY great, but as I found time to really ask some questions, I was fairly disappointed. Also, even though my grades have dropped 'slightly' these last few weeks, I have really started to feel a focus and connection again with Trinity. Needless to say, I'm not "changing lanes" anytime soon. I was in such a rush to 'discover my future", but recently I was reminded of a J.R.R. Tolkien quote "Do not spoil wonder with haste". God has SO much for me to experience and learn RIGHT now. He has PLENTY of good things for me now. I just need slow down long enough to realize it. Psalm 46:10 "Be STILL and know that I am God".

Driving tip: Self-enforcement of the speed limit allows for a less 'rushed' feel, which I have found to GREATLY help eliminate 'road-rage' and 'stop-light impatience'. :)

God is GOOD!♥

Hi Everybody!
I'm sorry I've been bad at keeping up. It's been pretty crazy being a full-time student, a "Part-time" employee, an average human being who needs sleep/basic other things, girlfriend, sister, daughter, friend, peer, involved student...Anywho, my real big time eaters are/were classes/hw and my job.
As of last Friday, I am no longer employed, but I have to say that it was a learning lesson. Also, for the most part it wasn't a bad job, gas is just too expensive. Well, between commuting to school, and my job, that required me to drive all over the south-eastern suburbs (and slightly into IN), I have spent a LOT of time driving.
So, I was thinking of just starting a whole 'new' blog for random things I've thought of/learned from my driving experiences, but lets be serious, I have a hard enough time keeping this one up :) I plan to just write individual blogs and have a specific "Life Lessons of a Commuter Student" label. I will hopefully post my first one after I finish this post.
School has been going well, but the for the last couple of weeks I've felt very unmotivated, and a little lost. God, however, has been very good to me (SURPRISE!. I am currently scheduled to remain at Trinity at least for another semester, but please continue to pray for guidance for me. Right now, it's kind of a day-to-day thing. There have been plenty of learning opportunities both in and outside of the classroom. Pray that I am a good witness for JESUS to my classmates (Yes, I go to Christian school, but I don't take it for granted that all my peers are Christians too). It's a struggle sometimes to not get angry and to be judgmental. My prayer as of late has been "God help me to be compassionate as You have shown compassion to me, and to love as You have loved me". I know it's not going to happen over night, but people won't be drawn to cruelty/loathing, but to love.
Last night (early this morning), I finished a paper for my Theology class on Genesis 22, and I hope to post it once I get it back, but the main point I got from my research was that God cares about our HEARTS. He wants to be the One whom our hearts are fixed upon, and whom we trust wholeheartedly .
Jeremiah 29:11 is a favorite verse to quote, but often people stop there. It's unfortunate because I've come to find verse 13 to be the best part...
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart

I have a lot of questions about my future. I have hopes and I have dreams (fears too!), but I have a God who just wants to be in a relationship with me. He'll take care of the rest (Mat 6:33...I couldn't help referencing it), and it'll probably be better than I could ever imagine (Eph 3:20!). Truth is, I've been REALLY stressed out these last couple months. It hasn't been a constant thing, but it's certainly been 'hanging' over my head. I've started looking at the waves around me instead of focusing on my Savoir JESUS (Mat14:29-31). I've been trying to 'feel in control', and have just wound up feeling MORE lost, MORE confused, and just generally dissatisfied with life/demotivated. I wish I could say "I'm done" with all that, but I know it will still be a battle, but with Thanksgiving coming up in a few days, it's once again a GREAT reminder of God's GREAT provision in my life. It is much easier to feel better when my eyes are on God and what He's done, and NOT on myself. Because I have included all of my other typical verses, I can't finish this post without (yes, you guessed it) Philippians 4:6-7...
Dear God, you know my hopes and my dreams. You know what I'm going through, my current stresses, the little things that drag me down. I thank for the job opportunity and helping me through it. I thank you for how you've continued to provide for, and for the little 'gifts' you give me each day as a reminder of your presence. Help me Holy Spirit to continue to trust you with all my heart, and grant me a peace that surpasses all understanding. I'm sorry for how I've tried to take control, continue to pry my life from my hands. It's ours and I KNOW I will be much better off with YOU in control...Thank You for Your peace. -Amen

God is GOOD!♥

Where has the time gone?!
This a time of many transitions for me. For those of you who didn't know, I'm currently back at school. I'm a sophomore at Trinity Christian College, studying Business.

The summer ended in a flurry of activities, and I ended my time at Lake Ellen road tripping back to IL with a fellow-coworker of mine (Grant). We followed two other co-workers (Katie and Corrinne) the long way home. Taking the route down through the Lower Peninsula of Michigan. I've never been across the Mackinac Bridge, or seen most of Northern-lower MI/most of the UP before thrn. It was an AMAZING trip. We took it in 3 days. It only takes 6hrs through WI, but I wanted to take the scenic route/make a few stops :)
Our (Grant and I's. Katie and Corrinne diverged from us about an hour before we got there) first night was spent at Cran-Hill Ranch, and we stayed with the Wickes. I hadn't seen the whole family in a little over 1/2 a year. It was nice seeing them again, and catching up. We had fun talking about our different summers, and our new camp experiences. One of the things I love most about Christian Camping is the unity or 'oneness' of purpose (sound familiar Britta **smile**)in the area of Christian Camping. It's exciting to hear how God is working in other places outside of the place you're at. God is SO GOOD, and has been doing some AMAZING things in Christian camps in Michigan, in the US, and around the world (yes, there are Christian camps around the world!).
We left from there for Bair Lake (my 'home-camp' so to speak), and stopped off in Grand Rapids for a quick visit with my brother and NEW sister-in-law (Nate and Tiffany HAMILTON!) at their new apartment. (I♥them!) I'm glad they were home and available. It was a quick stop, and we hadn't planned ahead to stop, so I'm glad they were around :)
So, no trip down 131 from GR is complete without introducing a newbie to B&G, the BEST discount store EVER. I purchased a white Australian, animal theme bandana there... ^^
Anywho, we arrived at Bair Lake in the late afternoon of our 2nd day, and I was able to stop and say 'hi' to a lot of the staff that was around. I was also able to quick swing out and grab STEPHANIE S who was still close by (school hadn't started yet). Unfortunately, my previous roommates/fellow lady-members of the Outfitter program, were not at camp when I was there. They were both with there families at 'home-home'. We had a nice stay none-the-less, and Stephen and I got to talk face-to-face for the first time in a about two months... I'll get back to him once I wrap-up the trip ;) Grant and I finished our trip the next day at my house, where we promptly switched cars in order to take my mom to the train station (long story), and then made it back to my house in time to meet his parents who had just arrived to pick him up (He's from 'southern' IL (technically CENTRAL), but we all know that anything south of Cook county in 'southern' IL right???) ^^ All in all, it was a GREAT trip. You should check out my Facebook for pictures... It was an even more AMAZING summer! God blessed and led in SO many ways! Praise Him!

Okay, back to Stephen. Stephen is one of my best friends, he was also one of my fellow Outfitters, and it has been awesome watching God build our friendship. Honestly, I tell people, we don't have a 'cute' story, but it's one in which God has been able to show Himself mighty. Just being co-workers made us have to work through some things, and learn to respect each-other on some level. We certainly have had our rough times (haven't we??? **smile**), but through it all, I've gained a great friend. I know that he's likely to read this so, I won't put anything in here that I haven't told him already...He's really been there for me, and has been a BIG encouragement to me over the last year. I'm very glad we're friends, and we plan to stay that way. So, yes, if you haven't picked up on it yet, Stephen and I are officially dating, but in all honesty, things don't seem all that much different. Which, I realize could be taken rather 'scandalously', but really all I mean is that we're FRIENDS, first and for most. We now just have a more specified purpose/goal in mind. He knows this, but I could see myself marrying him someday...for now though, we're just taking it one day at a time with God. He still has 1 more year in Outfitters (potentially 2-ish more years of school after), and I still have 3 years of school (as of right now). He lives in MI, and I live in IL... but it's been really good. God has been really good to us. May HE be glorified!

God is GOOD!♥

So, I have plenty of things to talk about, but I have no idea how to say them or where to begin, so I'm going to simply have to say...I'm sorry, but this months newsletter is going to be a 'little' delayed to allow for my brain to catch-up with reality.

God is GOOD!♥

So, at long last, I'm going to finally sit down and try to put into writing the craziness, that has been defining my life the last couple of weeks... I can't believe it's only been about 4 weeks since my last post...

Anywho, prayer has certainly become a VERY necessary part of my life... My co-director and I pray every week night together for our campers, fellow staff members, and each other. With out prayers...aka without GOD, this summer would've been a big FLOP. As it is though, God has been doing some AMAZING things... He's provided words for BLTs (Bible Lesson Times), and has provided the right people to teach them (including me at times...which has been a growing experience in itself). He has gotten me through speakers I like, and speakers I'm not super comfortable with, but in the end, He has assured me of HIS sovereignty, and how each person is at camp for a reason... God can use all things for HIS glory and good! AMEN! He's given me words and strength when I had none. He's helped me talk to/pray through some difficult camper situations (home-sickness, anger, rebellion, SERIOUS spiritual warfare) God is FAITHFUL! He will NOT give us something we can't handle WITH HIM! We CAN do EVERYTHING through JESUS, and He IS there to walk us through the hard times.

This past week especially has been AMAZING! It was Sr.High week. Our last week of having actual campers (This coming week is a guest group, and then it's family camp). I LOVE High-Schoolers, and this past week was just an affirmation of the heart God has given me for that age group. I had such a GREAT week getting to know, talking with, hang-out with, praying with, and growing with my campers... God just ROCKED the place. I can't take ANY credit. Both my partner and I went into the week sick and exhausted, but God worked through our weakness, and showed Himself to be GREAT! I really grew to love my campers, and prayed for them like I've never prayed for people before... God also gave me a heart for the lost as I've never felt before, and I pray that the memory of that anguish will stay with me as I continue to live out my life in this broken and dying world. The speaker not only challenged my campers, but he challenged me as well... It was amazing to really witness God speaking through a person in such an incredible way... We had at least 3 campers make decisions to accept Jesus as their Savoir, and more rededicate their lives to Him. I'm SO excited to see what God is going to do in their lives.

The speaker ended the week telling us to go read Psalm 62, and WOW! God knew what He was saying when he placed that passage on his heart... "My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken..." I pray my campers really take that to heart, and really find their security in the ONLY thing that can truly protect and take care of them... GOD!

Praise God for ALL that you have been doing! May you continue to be glorified in our lives!

God is GOOD!♥

First off, I'd like to apologize for my VERY non-creative titles as of late...but for right now, it's quite descriptive as this blog is about the month of June. I know that June is not quite over, but I feel the need to give an update before I forget...

June 12th was the day I started working at Lake Ellen. Until that day, I had never been North of WI (in regards to the MI/WI area)... I've now lived in the UP for almost 3 weeks, and I LOVE it!!! The nearest Walmart is 40mins. Every morning I get to wake-up and watch the early morning sun glisten off Lake Ellen. We're SURROUNDED by acres of a National Reservation, and the landscape is just BEAUTIFUL.

The camp itself has been going really well also. I am a Co-Area Director, and we're in charge or the Main summer program. Our camps range from 2n&3rd graders-High school students. My partner and I are responsible for creating the schedule for all 5 weeks of camp. It's been challenging, but we're learning lots. We're on our 3rd full day of our first week. There's been lots of rearranging and changing of plans, but we're learning and the campers are having a GREAT time. 5 of our 20 campers have already found Jesus this week. Praise God!

Please pray for energy, confidence, and opportunities to share Jesus with ALL the people who come on grounds this summer. Thank you all for your support encouragement.

God is GOOD! ♥

I feel like I've slightly summed up May in my 'Ode to 21', but at the same time as that was not strictly speaking a 'Newsletter' update, I will attempt to quickly sum-up the month of May now...

Camp-wise, the beginning of May=Mens' Retreat weekend. Which went amazingly well. It was Baseball themed, and the speaker was the Chaplin from the Detroit Tigers. From what I saw and heard it was a successful weekend. At the end of that weekend we had two people join 'the staff' as early-arrival summer workers. One, is officially apart of the Senior Staff on Maintenance, and the other will be 'Interning' this summer as 'The Nature Guy'. I'm excited to see how things go with the Nature Center this summer. He has a lot of GREAT ideas.
A week or so later, my fellow Outfitters and I left with the Stiles on a surprise trip to the Detroit area. It was AWESOME. We went to Greenfield Village, which I'd never been to before. We also got to stay at Sarah Stile's parents house. They were so welcoming. Spending time with her parents was DEFINITELY one of the highlights for me. We also visited the Detroit Holocaust museum, and spent one of the evenings in Greek time. We ended our surprising traveling by going to Shipshewana(sp?). We went to the Mennonite museum, and to the Flea-market (I've wanted to go there for awhile, it was great!) All-in-all, it was a fun time being together.

Another 'main event' was my launching party. Bair Lake exists as a launching pad for people to make Jesus Christ known to their communities and world. Therefore, since I was getting ready to 'graduate' from the discipleship program, it was thus dubbed as getting ready 'to launch'. I had ZERO part in the planning. They decided to completely surprise me, and I was certainly surprised. I made it almost through their entire 'surprise' breakfast without suspecting a thing...they had to tell me what was going on...I LOVE my fellow Outfitters...it was certainly a VERY special day for me...THANKS GUYS! (if you're reading this...) ...the day closed with a big cook-out with the rest of staff and other friends. I was very touched, and it has certainly been a privilege to have worked these last two years with such godly, loving people. I'm going to miss them all dearly.

My younger brother Caleb graduated High School on the 25th, so I went home for that. I returned with a car! :)

Memorial Day weekend, found all four of us Outfitters working camp's Open House, but once we shut-down, we all piled into my car and drove the FOUR hours (which turned into 5) down to where my family was camping for the weekend. Camping Memorial Day weekend is one of my personal highlights of the year. I was really excited to be able to share it with my fellow Outfitters. It was fun having them be able to interact with my family and our friends for the weekend...I think everyone had fun... =D

So, this isn't turning into a 'quick' summary...oh well...I'm almost finished! =D

I was able to spend my 21st birthday at camp, but then on June 3rd (after driving home to switch vehicles/pick-up my younger brother), I moved back home from camp. My younger brother, Caleb is on the Senior Staff this year, so I moved him onto camp, and he helped me load the van with my stuff. It was a bittersweet moment, but I'm excited for his time at camp. I pray that his experience at camp will draw him close to God as well.

I'm currently in that 'awkward' in between stage. I'm not officially doing anything right now. It's hard, but it's kind of nice. I've been able to set-up my room, so I don't have to do that when I move back again in August. It has also given me a chance to kind of reflect and process through some stuff before moving onto the next thing. My time at camp has been good...not always easy, but good. I've learned a lot. I've been challenged, and I've grown. I know that I am much stronger now in my faith then before, and have a greater peace about who God is; specifically who He is to me...(Psalm 113) and I look forward to all that He is going to continue to do in my life and in the lives of the people around me. To those of you still at camp...Keep in touch...for those of you who aren't...SAME! =D

I love you guys! Thanks for all the prayers, support, and encouragement! ♥

God is GOOD!♥

So, I was planning on writing this ON my birthday, but that just didn't happen. Well, now that it's been 5 days, I've really been able to 'soak-in' the fact that I am indeed TWENTY-ONE years old! Yes, I can now buy guns, alcohol, go to a Casino, apply for my concealed weapons license (at least in Michigan I could)... However, really and truly what another birthday means is a whole other year coming and going. Yes, 'New Years' happens in January, but for me the new year starts in June. Man, oh man, what a year it's been too.

I was diagnosed Gluten Sensitive just before my last birthday. My older brother got engaged. I was AV Director for Bair Lake Bible Camp in the summer. I started dating my first boyfriend. Went to Detroit for the first time. Had my program kind of sort of split. My 'home' church go through another MAJOR transition after which it changed name in order to become a 'new' church again. Thought my first 'Bible Class'. Went to NYC, and actually got to walk around Time Square and go up in the Empire State Building. I went through my first break-up. Got back on Facebook. I made a REAL gingerbread house. My mom and sister were diagnosed Gluten Sensitive. I was placed on an ACTUAL phone plan. Was accepted to TWO colleges. Signed up for classes. Searched for, found, changed plans, and found another summer job. Cultivated a deeper relationship with God and the people around me. Started the 'launching' process from my Discipleship program. Went camping (HAHA **winky face** for those who get it...) Turned 21! ...Read LOTS of books. Made lots of memories. Learned lots of lessons. Got angry, became sad. Took pictures. Laughed, cried. Loved...LIVED! (still loving...still living) =D

This is the day the Lord has made; Let us REJOICE and be glad in it! Psalm 118:24 NIV (emphasis MINE) :)

God is GOOD!♥

"What do I get?" isn't the issue....
"What do I give?" is what should matter to you...

God seeks and desires us to love Him
and that is NOT a sin
b/c He GIVES more than Anyone
just to prove His Love.

After typing the very words of my title I speculated and then confirmed my own suspicions. In no way have I mentioned in my blogs about being Gluten Sensitive/Intolerant. I have somehow, in my summaries of lessons and events of the last year, 'overlooked' what is truly a MAJOR health issue that greatly effected and IS effecting my life. Hence the title...
It's time I STOPPED living in denial. I'm not 'sick', but I'm not healthy either. My gluten issue is genetic, and though not diagnosed till I was almost 20, it has probably been slowly damaging my body since birth. At the end of last May, I was put on a permanent, 100% gluten-free diet. However, my problems have not ended there. I have now, thankfully STOPPED harming my body, but I now have to face the reality of needing to repair the damage that has already been done. It's hard. I don't like admitting that I still struggle with being inexplicably depressed and emotional. Feeling like I'm fighting a wall of doubt, anxiety, fear, and sadness from crashing down on top of me, threatening to inhibit my ability to function 'normally'. Stress inducing situations quickly become overwhelming and unmanageable. My goal-oriented personality becomes discouraged which makes it easy for self-loathe to settle in. Apathy sets in as my body defensively turns to feeling 'nothing' as opposed to the tidal-wave of uncontrolled emotion.

So what now? Well, recognizing that I have a problem is definitely a good first step, but now it’s time to get serious about finding help. It’s going to take time, energy, and effort to find the answers behind my symptoms. I’m going to need patience, and make myself available as I give the treatments time to work. Ultimately, I need prayer for wisdom. I need God to direct me in how I need to go about taking care of the body He has entrusted to me. Thus far, I’ve been ignoring it, and placing my health on a ‘back-burner’. I can’t do that anymore. It’s too much. I need help.

If there is one good thing (though I suppose when I think about it there are several), about the whole situation it is this; we humans are truly "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139). The human body is SO complex and SO intricately designed. All of it is interconnected in ways that we are still just starting to discover. It’s a POWERFUL reminder of God’s greatness and wisdom. He is the Great Designer. He alone knows EVERYTHING about us, and how we function. We humans are just starting to make a dent…if that =D Praise God for His GREATNESS!

God is GOOD!♥

I will no longer be working at Camp Summit this summer. After much thinking and praying, I do not believe it is where I'm supposed to be this summer. Please continue to pray for me as I continue to seek God's wisdom for where He wants me to be this summer. I have some options open to me right now, but we're taking suggestions. So, if you have any ideas feel free to let me know. Thanks for all of your prayers and support! (Proverbs 3:5-6)

God is GOOD!♥

Alot of
Patience is
Required...
Irreguardless of the
Lack there of


Patience seems to be the theme of my current 'phase' of life. I don't seem to have a lot of it. I want to know... What's going to happen??? Where am I supposed to go??? What am I supposed to do/be doing??? And they aren't BAD questions, but MAYBE I'm not supposed to know ALL the answers...??? I don't know...just a thought :)... Actually, it's true. Once again, I'm faced with the reality that I AM NOT God...shouldn't be that hard to remember, but...When it comes to not knowing the answers I don't like it...but only God knows EVERYTHING. I am NOT God, therefore...I do NOT know EVERYTHING!!!...Yeah for A=B,B(doesn't)=C, therefore C(doesn't)=A!!! Yes, I am a nerd ^^... Anywho, April has been a time of waiting for me. Waiting for other people to make decisions. Trusting that God was leading me to wait. Accepting WAIT as an answer to some of my MANY questions. Thankfully, God is also the One who does SATISFY, and we don't have to wait FOREVER. In fact, something we have to wait A LOT less than forever.

One thing I've been waiting to hear back about was my acceptance to a Christian College by my house in IL. Earlier this month, I'm happy to report I did receive my official acceptance to Trinity Christian College. So, as of right now, I'm planning on moving BACK home to IL in August (after being 'out-of-the-house' for THREE years). It will be a fairly big adjustment, but I am particularly excited to be able to spend more time with my younger sister who is FINALLY to that age where we can hang out on a more 'even' level (She's five years younger than me). It will be cool to see how God uses that...Also, I will hopefully be able to reconnect with friends from high school whom I haven't spent much time with since high school.

Secondly, I was waiting to hear back about a summer job. This past Monday, I was officially offered a summer position at Camp Summit in IL, and I have verbally accepted. An official contract will be coming soon. Pray for me as I will be needing to raise support for myself in order to work there this summer. I look forward to seeing all that God will do this summer, and to the new experiences I have ahead.
Thank you all for you prayer, love, and support. My time with Outfitters is drawing to a close, but don't worry, I plan to keep blogging (I'm hooked!). So, keep watching for updates, as I will continue to try to keep you all updated on what going on as I move forward into this new 'phase'.

God is GOOD! ♥

The Devil often pushes us back and forth, back and forth between two EXTREMES. We're convicted about one and rush to the other and back again. We make ourselves spiritually and emotionally 'motion-sick' with the ups and downs. Crushing ourselves with the belief that we've somehow FAILED, living in fear of never being able to do things 'right'. ...or maybe it's just me... Do I pray enough? Do I pray at the right time? Is God REALLY telling me to do something or is it just me trying to MAKE myself more spiritual? I tend to feel like I care too much...but what is too much? When is it wrong to hide my true feelings...is it ever right to hide my feelings? How do I find JOY in my 'times of trial', and not just faking a smile? How do I 'die to self' and yet not lose track of the fact that I am a 'master piece' and 'child of GOD'?

These are just some of the extremes I have been struggling to understand, and the Biblical truths that seem to bring a balance to them...

Pride...Self-HATE =Humility

Legalism...Reckless =Discipline (Colossians 2:16-23)

Fear...Foolishness =Faith

Judgmental...Overly passive =Grace

Overworking...Laziness =Sabbath (Exodus 20:8-11; Jeremiah 17:24-27)


...I know there are correlating verses for all of them, but I can't recall the references right now...if you've got one that goes I would LOVE to have it. Also if you have an 'extreme set' and it's TRUTH or maybe you are looking for the central TRUTH...feel free to share too...it's nice to not feel alone in struggles.

Ultimately, as I look at all the words right of the (=), all of them are qualities I want to possess and be, but I can't achieve them on my own. I'm not perfect which is the main reason why these things are so HARD to do. However, they are not impossible. With JESUS, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. "I can do everything through him who gives me strength"(Philippians 4:13).

God is GOOD!♥

Well, March has gone by again, and once again Butler is going to the finals...that is of course as far (once again) that basketball will enter into my blog...

March started with MI-CCCA (Christian Camping and Conference Association, Michigan sectional). It would take WAY too long to summarize all the things I learned over the 3 day conference. However, since I promised to talk about it during this month's newsletter, here's what I can give you. 'Pray FIRST, Pray NOW!'...what a concept! I'm still working on that one...'God will place you where He wants you' and...'God doesn't WASTE YOUR TIME'...

March's book of the month was 'Power of Prayer' by E.M.Bounds...I literally have a page tagged and labeled 'OUCH!'. No joke. This book was uber-convicting about the concept of prayer...are you catching the theme???...PRAY! PRAY! PRAY! You want to know what God's will is? PRAY...communicate with God. Which NOTE, also means LISTENING for God to respond. Normal conversation means there is a back and forth; like a game of catch! EVERYTHING comes back to the health of your relationship with God. If your relationship with God is healthy...the rest of your life will follow. If it's not, you are GOING TO HAVE PROBLEMS! "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given you as well"(Matthew 6:33).

Life is moving along. I got accepted to Trinity Christian College, and after THREE years will be moving BACK home to IL for school in the fall. I'm excited to see what God does...

This summer is still rather up in the air. I'm kind of in the waiting stages...we'll see what God sends me to do. I pray for the strength and courage to go WHEREVER, to WHOEVER God sends me, and to do WHATEVER, WHENEVER I'm sent to do

God is GOOD!♥

I truly believe that FAITH is the balance between fear and foolishness

...but how do you find that balance?

February has flown by and March is rapidly moving along. Also, this will be my twelfth 'official newsletter' since I started blogging, marking one WHOLE year having gone by already. Looking back, SO much has happened that I'm glad I have this blog to semi keep track of it all.
Anywho, on with February. Like January, it was filled with guest groups, weekly almost full-camp cleanings, and winter retreats. My parents came to visit, and I saw many friends from the summer who returned to counsel or just help out with our winter retreats. There was great conversation, and ALWAYS lots of laughter. I know I'm glossing over everything, but honestly right down details kind of evade me.
I'm still in the process of looking for work this summer. I just sent in my first official application today. I still have to get my references in, but at least they have my app. A few other places have my resume. I don't know...continue to pray for me and the decisions I need to make regarding the future. I just got back from the Michigan sectional CCCA (Christian Camping and Conference Association) annual conference. I had some really good conversations, and learned a lot...I'll save those thoughts for another blog as I'm trying to keep this to a simple overview of FEBRUARY. (the conference was at the beginning of March!^^)
As Outfitters, we started doing Precepts (an inductive Bible study). We're doing the one on Covenant. Katie (my mentor) is teaching this year's study just like last year. I'm excited. It can get tedious at times, but having been through two other Precepts studies, I KNOW that in the end they're WELL WORTH the effort. Plus, it is exciting to learn all about God's promises, and ultimately about His FAITHFULNESS! What excellent timing... "'For I know the plans I have for you,'declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future.'" And I KNOW He does...If I seek him and trust him (like the rest of the passage goes on to talk about...) He will protect and provide for me. He has my future in HIS capable hands!

God is GOOD!♥

Sorry to all of you who have been disappointed with my low number of blogs. The last few months have certainly been VERY busy. Not to say that God hasn't been teaching me things (which would be FALSE!), but I just haven't had the time to thoughtfully process and express them in type.

Have you ever REALLY stopped to think about your priorities? What do your actions say is important to you? Do they match God's? Am I living with a heavenly perspective or an earthly one? On whom is my focus?

In the small time before major transitions it's often hard to not worry, getting caught up in future plans and their potential consequences; good or bad. Often we forget that we have a God who PROMISES in Proverbs 3:5-6 he will make our paths straight, and in Jeremiah 29:11 he promises a prosperous future, filled with hope. There is something we have to do though...trust HIM, seek HIM with all our hearts. If we aren't focused on what really matters, we aren't going to be living a life that really matters. Only God can ultimately bring meaning into our lives, just go read Ecclesiastes (which I recommend doing anyways!).

I have been given much to think about because of my reading "The Treasure Principle" last month and now "The Pursuit of God" this month. To quote Paul, I want to run the race "to get the prize". So, I was reading in 1 Timothy 6 the other day, and one of the last paragraphs sums up most of the ideas I've been thinking about over the last few months..."Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with EVERYTHING for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in GOOD DEEDS, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is TRULY life." (1T6:17-19 emphasis is mine =D)

God is GOOD!

Well, my Christmas break ended in a flurry of activities. I had a fellow Outfitter (Stephen) come visit for a few days, followed by another friend (Caitlin) from camp who I hadn't seen in awhile, and on New Years' I was happily able to see one of my past fellow Outfitters(Johnson) who now works at another camp. It was GREAT to spend sometime with him. Also, on New Years Eve, EVE...Caitlin and I were able to go back to camp for the day. I know, I'm weird, I live there all year long, and when I'm home on break I head back for a visit. However, a bunch of the Summer'10 Staff members were getting together for New Years, so I came up to see them. It was fun catching up with the one's who were able to make it out that day. I didn't stay for the whole holiday weekend, but I hear it went well.
We came back from break to a packed schedule, and pretty much stepped right into winter retreat season which is now pretty much in full swing. Our camp-run retreats actually start THIS upcoming weekend. We're excited. There is supposed to be a TON of snow... ^^
On top of work, I'm continuing to teach our Tuesday Bible Study. We are now in Book 3 of the Navigator series, and it's going well. For Thursdays, we've been meeting with Dave Stiles and discussing The End Times. It's been a challenging, but rewarding experience. I'm still a little confused, but who does have it all figured out when it comes to the End Times (If you do, PLEASE explain it to me!). Also, our book for this month is The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn. I just finished it, and it certainly has given me much to think about...especially in regards to my future...speaking of which...
I'm also currently trying to deciding what comes next for me, as my two years in the Outfitters program is rapidly approaching an end. Not only do I have to decide POST-program plans, but also, as a part of the program, I need to decide what I want to do for this upcoming summer. PLEASE pray for wisdom, guidance, parental(and other...) understanding, and just a general peace in the overall process.

Thank you ALL for your continued support and encouragement. Let me know how I can pray/support/encourage you!

God is GOOD!♥

This morning I had the opportunity to attend church. However, due to some unforeseen car issues, I did not attend the church I typically go to when I have a free Sunday. I knew God had a reason for changing things up, and I was right. It was like the message today was written for me, and where I am RIGHT NOW. The church has been going through a series called 'Spiritual Targets for the Focused Christian Life', and this week was about how WE, as Christians ('truly born again believers') are to be COMMITTED TO SPIRITUAL GROWTH AND MATURITY.

The pastor talked about how we as humans are expected to grow beyond the 'baby-stage' in life, even though we're considered to be 'cute and cuddly'...in the same way, even though a new born CHRISTIAN can be exciting and fun, they too need (and are expected) to GROW beyond the 'baby-stage' of SPIRITUAL life. However, the process doesn't just END with getting out of the 'baby-stage'. There is ALWAYS another stage to reach...

When it comes to SPIRITUAL growth, our goal is to BE LIKE Christ, which is IMPOSSIBLE to achieve in this sinful world. NOBODY in our world WILL EVER be able to PERFECTLY imitate Christ. The purpose of the goal though is NOT to discourage, but rather, it points to God's holiness, and HIS intended purpose for us to be holy as well. Also, God KNOWS that perfection is humanly unachievable, and simply takes pleasure in our IMPROVEMENTS. It's our CONSTANT STRIVE TOWARD IMPROVEMENT that brings glory to God and is pleasing to him. God doesn't want us to grow stagnant in our faith, but wants us to grow ever closer to him. We, however, cannot do this on our own.In order to grow, we need God's help.

On our own we are powerless to change. The Good news is that God HAS provided ALL that we need 'for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness'(2Peter1:3)Did you catch the key? through our KNOWLEDGE of him The Christian life is NOT about a religion it's about a RELATIONSHIP with GOD. As we grow closer to God, we are able to better understand his will for our lives, and will become more willing to and ABLE to follow his leading. Our love for God makes us WANT to be more like HIM. If we don't LOVE him, we won't want to imitate him.

In order to grow closer to God we need to be getting into HIS WORD. Good communication is key to any healthy relationship, and God uses the Bible to speak to us. If we aren't regularly getting into his word, how do we expect to grow? Going back to the physical growth analogy, if we stopped eating food, we would stop growing, in fact we'd eventually die. In the same way, when it comes to spiritual growth, God's word is our food, and some of us are trying to live as 'spiritual anorexics'. We are SPIRITUALLY starving ourselves and then wondering why we are not spiritually growing. We need consistent spiritual nourishment, through a regular 'diet' of God's Word and pouring in of biblical truths into our hearts, in order to grow and mature in our faith.

The two ways the pastor talked about getting regular biblical nourishment are through daily personal reading/studying of the Bible, and through corporate Bible teaching. It is important to do BOTH. Sometimes, we excuse our not doing of one because we've done the other, but without both we only make it harder for ourselves to grow. "The Spiritual battles of our lives our fought on the battlefield of our thinking"...In Ephesians 4 it says that the lost 'walk in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them..." If we are not THINKING in a biblical way, we will not LIVE in a biblical way. In order to do that though successfully, according to Joshua 1:8 we need to 'mediate on it day AND night'. Continually, it's important to have CORPORATE biblical teaching because it's through our fellow believers that we are able to be 'sharpened', and by whom we are spurred "on toward love and good deeds' (Hebrews 10:24).

In the end though, it's important to remember that spiritual maturity doesn't happen over night. It's a regular walking with the Lord. A steady diet of His Word. A day-by-day, night-by-night, week-by-week, etc. of mediating and leaning on His TRUTH. It's a LIFE long process taken most often in the tiniest of steps; Baby steps.

God is GOOD! ♥