IfYouGiveAMindensenABlog

I can NOT believe it's already Christmas! The last month and a half since my last 'newsletter' update has been a time of change and hurt, but at the same time great joy.

As I mentioned in my last newsletter, there have been some changes to the Outfitter program, but as much as I wish they could have come through a different set of circumstances, I have to admit that I really like how things are right now.

I finished teaching book TWO of the NAV 2.7 series that we're going through on Tuesdays and I'm going to be preparing to teach book 3. It's been a learning experience to say the least, and I didn't even really teach most of the days. I think I ended up only doing 2 or 3 lessons by myself. Therefore, the coming book should be an even greater stretch, but I'm excited. I'll be making some suggested changes, but I've really enjoyed our Tuesday classes together.
Another new aspect to the program is grocery shopping. We are all given $50 gift cards to Meijer each month, and we have to eat almost all our meals at home now. At first, I was a little nervous (I wasn't too big of a fan of cooking previously), but I'm having fun experimenting. It's been especially helpful because of my gluten sensitivity. It was getting hard for me to find food at camp that I could eat on a regular basis. So, having more control of my food supply is nice :)

Also, last month (for those of you who don't know already), Jeremy and I did break-up. It was an agreed upon thing, and God has continued to reassure me of his goodness through the whole thing. I can't say it's been easy, but as far as break-ups go it is fairly un-messy, and I'm thankful for God's continued guidance. I KNOW he was the one who led us into the relationship, and I still trust him to be guiding us as we have now stopped being in a relationship together. I thank God for all he has taught me through the whole thing (Pre, during, and Post). God is SO FAITHFUL...and VERY Good!!!

I have also started applying to schools for next fall. Prayer for guidance for that is GREATLY appreciated. I know I want to study some aspect of business, but what specifically I have not decided. I'm looking at a few places, but deadlines are coming up quick. I'm starting to feel the pressure. On top of that, I'm working on planning my 2nd summer of the program. I'm not supposed to spend it at camp, and options are pretty much limitless...pray, pray, pray!

As crazy as it all seems, in an odd way, the last few weeks have been some of the best weeks of my recent years. I have felt more at peace with myself and God...more generally happy than I have in a long time...my mom would say it has to do with my now more gluten-free system, which is probably true, but there really is something to be said for thankfulness, peace, and joy that comes only from really resting in the loving arms of our Savior JESUS Christ, whose birthday we are celebrating today.

Thank you Jesus for coming to earth to save me...Thank you for loving me enough to die for me...thank you for being there for me...thank you for making the way for me to be in a relationship with God, and for giving me a chance at an abundant life if I choose to follow you!

God is GOOD! ♥

What was FAIR about the cross???
-I didn't get what I deserved!

As He died He spoke MY name
-He was THAT committed to being in a relationship with ME...

♪♫"What's love got to do with it?" ♫♪ ...EVERYTHING!

JESUS=a GIFT!

It's NOT about us!

I want God to bless ME, so...

"Do unto others..."
"Pray for your enemies..."
"Forgive and you will be forgiven..."

Do you ever get the feeling like a passage of scripture is ‘following’ you…I do…and if you haven’t noticed it is Philippians 4:6-7…

Today, verse 7 is what sticks out…“And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”

Did you know that the actual word guard in the original Greek literally means “to guard, protect by military guard, either to prevent hostile invasion, or to keep the inhabitants of a besieged city from flight”?

So, when God says that his peace will GUARD us, he means just that. His peace WILL guard us from hostile attacks on our hearts and our minds. However, there are some important things to remember.

One, flip back a book to the end of Ephesians and there you will see a reminder that ‘our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms’. As much as it is easy to feel like our hearts (and minds) are being attacked by other people, we need to remember that ultimately we are living in a spiritual battle, where every decision is a decision for either spiritual life or death.

Deuteronomy 30:19-20a says, “This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live, and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life…”

The second thing to remember is that it is the PEACE of God which does the protecting, and it’s a personal CHOICE whether or not you have it. Going up to verse 6, it talks about OUR responsibility to present our requests to God AND to not be anxious. It’s only then, when we focus on God and stop worrying that we have PEACE, and it’s that PEACE that guards our hearts and our minds.

Another passage that generally comes back up in my life, that relates to this topic is Matthew 6:33-34 which says, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

God is GOOD! ♥

Have you you ever felt like you gave someone everything you could and they just threw it away?
Did you ever realize that's what we do to God ALL the time?!




It's not good for man to be alone...Good thing God is here!




TOTAL forgiveness
unconditional love
...Two concepts ONLY made possible because we have a God with whom NOTHING is impossible!




God gave us FREE will...so I can't blame HIM for every mistake YOU or I make...




"Our struggle is not against flesh and blood"...but excuses are lame and God promises that 'No temptation has seized you except what is common to man and God is FAITHFUL. He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but when you are tempted He will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it".
...Take responsibility for your OWN choices...





God is GOOD! ♥

So, on Tuesday, I was having a pretty rough day. However, when I got home that night, I discovered something that made me smile. Some would call it a 'coincidence', but I call it a God thing :) Anyways, as I was getting ready for bed, I noticed that the pause button on my stereo was pushed down (yes, I have a stereo that has a tape player...and I'm PROUD of it!). Well, I haven't played any tapes on my stereo in ages, and didn't even think there was anything in it. Well, there was, and it was an Adventures in Odyssey tape (produced by Focus on the Family). I have NO IDEA how it got there. I haven't brought any tapes from home, and my stereo hasn't been back to my house in IL for over a year. It was there though, and the title of the episode...? Yep, you guessed it, 'In All Things Give Thanks'. I just had to laugh, and than I listened to it. It wasn't their best episode, but the message was exactly what I needed to hear. God, you are SO AWESOME!

God is GOOD! ♥

Commitment. A word that tends to scare people these days. Well, this past Sunday I went to a church whose message was about commitment, and boy was I not prepared for what God would do.

Have you ever had people disappoint you? Let you down? Break a COMMITMENT? Well, me too. In fact, as sad as it is, words of commitment to my family have come to be known as 'two week notices'. It's kind of a joke now, which is NOT how things are supposed to be. Commitment is very important, nothing great happens without it. However, with all the poor examples of commitment around us, how are we supposed to take it seriously?

Well, as obvious as it should have been, God reminded me on Sunday how HE made a commitment with us when He sent JESUS, and how HE has NEVER broken a commitment. He is faithful, trustworthy, and will ALWAYS be there. It was like Jesus was saying, "Look Mindy. Look how committed I am to being in a relationship with you...before you were even born I DIED for you. See...you can trust me. I'm here for you, I've been here for you, I'll ALWAYS be there for you." I don't think the speaker was trying for a 'moving' service but I was definitely crying through most of it. Not anything dramatic, but as I stood there during the worship session at the end of the service tears started streaming down my face. I didn't have to fear commitment anymore, or fear being abandoned or left alone because that's IMPOSSIBLE to happen with God.

So, thank you God for being my source of JOY, my refuge, and my strength. Thank you for ALWAYS being there for me. You are my comforter and provider. I KNOW you are in control, and have my best in mind. Thank you for you peace!

God is GOOD! ♥

Do you ever catch yourself in a negative mood; Being the 'Debbie-downer', reliving/feeling past hurts and disappointments? Well, I certainly have, and it's not good.

The other week I was confronted about my tendency to complain, I hadn't 'really' noticed, but once it was brought to my attention, I realized just how bad it had gotten. I would get so focused on the negative things going on, and how they were affecting me that I had started to develop a spirit of complaining. I had ceased focusing on the good. Than as I was thinking through that, I was also challenged on my lack of trust in God, and people in general. So, clearly I needed a change.

I don't want to be a woman characterized by complaining and doubt. I want to be a woman whose peace of mind and joy points to the only true source for both; God. However, since my relationship with Him wasn't very good, due to my lack of trust, I wasn't even close to that goal. Which is where He took over. I knew I needed a change, and wanted to change, but couldn't do it on my own.

That's when He reminded me of my verse from this past summer; Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends ALL understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I wanted that PEACE, but to get it I needed to be giving everything up to God...which I admittedly have been doing, but the part that I've been missing was the thanksgiving. I had stopped being truly thankful. I mean, I'd say thank you for different things, and would be at the time, but over-all when examined my life has been deeply rooted in ungratefulness and questioning.

One of the first things God has opened my eyes to is my tendency to share and reminisce about tough times in my life. Those are the stories I ALWAYS tell people, those are things people generally hear about me first, the positive things only come out every once in awhile over a long span of time. Why do I do that? It was like who I am, was defined by the tough things I had 'endured'. It has caused me to really struggle with being self-righteous and judgmental. I catch myself thinking like the Pharisee in Luke 18 "God I thank you that I am not like other men...” yet in the same breathe envying them like the older brother in the parable of the Lost Son, being ungrateful for all that God has been doing; failing to see the gift in a life of doing 'the right thing' protected from some of the trials others around me have had to face. I've struggled with being angry and discontented before, but it's like God had decided it's time that I really faced the facts and started making some serious heart adjustments.

He showed me that the main reason why I have trouble trusting Him is because I'm still questioning HIM about WHY He let things in my past happen. The main reason I question is because I don't think it's fair, which causes me to question His goodness, which is why I worry, which leads to my distrust in Him. It's a terrible cycle. One that I'm realizing I've been caught in for a while; which leads me to the title of this post.

1 Corinthians 13:5b says, "(love) keeps no record of wrongs". Well, I've been keeping a record of 'wrongs' towards God. Many of the situations have since ceased to really matter in and of them-selves, but the questioning has left its mark on the list 'I shouldn't trust God b/c...' The whole 'God is in control' thing, instead of being a statement of comfort has slowly grown to be the number one reason for 'blaming' God for the tough things. Which causes a problem; I can't say I LOVE God if every time something happens, I'm questioning His character, and pulling out past 'records' to 'justify' my doubt. Thankfully God has started to help me change that mindset.

Thankfulness is the key. Instead of focusing on the all the negative things I don’t understand, I need to start focusing on the positive things that have happened and ARE happening in my life. I don’t want to remember the different stages of my life as defined by the tough things I went through, but by all the things God did for me and through me. This weekend, I started going through the ‘different stages’ of my life, and doing just that. Instead of remembering the tough things, I started listing all that I was thankful for that related to that stage of my life. It was GREAT, and in a sense freeing. Places or situations that used to make me upset or brought pain to think about, I was now able to see the positive things that were going on at the same time. Instead of hurt, I found joy. It was actually kind of fun; remembering some good places, good friends, and good memories. Listing the things has also allowed me to see, in a literal and figurative sense, how God really has been protecting, caring, and blessing me TREMENDOUSLY throughout my life. I really am blessed, and am grateful to God. He has opened my eyes to some core issues. He brought healing to parts of my life that I hadn’t even realized needed to be healed but were slowly starting to suck the life out of me. He really can turn tears to laughter and mourning to dancing.

God is GOOD!♥

Wow has there been a whirlwind of activity and just general chaos since my last 'official newsletter update'. So, please bear with me as I try to recap the last month.

Life at camp has dramatically changed. The original leaders of the program I am in left, along with two other permanent staff members, and the remaining members of my original group. I am the last person left from the group I started with in September of 2009. If you have been reading some of my other posts, I am now giving you the context for some of them. Needless to say, it's been a tough month, lots of changes. However, I still serve a GOOD and faithful God. There are 3 new people who joined the program this past September who are staying, and it has been GREAT getting to know them. Programmatically, the basics are still the same, the only real difference is the people responsible for the individual pieces. It's been a challenge, but it's all starting to come together. As we are now through the first week or so of November, things are already starting to settle back down, and I'm really excited about where the program is heading.

Also, another major event from last month worth mentioning, is that we, as Outfitters, went to New York City! Everyone went. It was kind of a last hoorah before people left at the end of the month. I admittedly was kind of weary to go, but the trip was GREAT. We had a great time road tripping across Northeastern USA in van, attended Sunday morning church and Tuesday prayer meeting at the Brooklyn Tabernacle, stayed at a YMCA, rode the subway, and just in general toured the great big city itself. I LOVED Central Park, and the services we attended at the BT were both inspiring and moving. The BT a little big for my taste, but the some of the people there are just inspirational. Oh, and even though the last time I was in NYC I didn't really enjoy it, this trip totally made up for it. I could even almost see myself living there...at least many for a little while. All in all, it ended up being a great trip, a great send off for those who were leaving, and a great kick-off for those of us continuing on ahead together.

I am SO thankful for the Outfitters program, and all that I've learned/experienced this last year, and I'm looking forward to another great year. More changes are ahead I'm sure, but that's not for me to worry about... :)

God is GOOD!

So, I often find myself needing to re-read some of my own blogs. It's amazing how quickly I forget some of the lessons God has taught me. In this case, I re-read my blog "What is Love". WOW! What a great reminder of my TOTAL INABILITY to LOVE withOUT God.

1 John 4:19 has kind of been back on my mind again. I can ONLY love because God first loved ME. Recently I've been finding that a little hard to accept, which explains why I've been having a little trouble with handling my relationships...on multiple levels. It's amazing how when your relationship with God isn't where it's supposed to be, the rest of your relationships quickly follow suit. Before you know it, your unhealthily depending on other relationships, trying to find that comfort and guidance outside of God...see how things could start to spiral quickly? My relationship with God needs to be healthy and growing in order for ALL other relationships to be healthy. This month has been tough, and I've really been struggling through some things. However, I'm VERY thankful for the people around me who have loved me enough to call me out, to challenge me about the health of my relationship with God. It's really made me think, and it has been a struggle. God and I aren't 'great', and it's going to be a process (which the process never really ends till I'm in heaven). However, I feel closer and more connected to God then I have felt in awhile. I've made some mistakes, and I have some talks I need to have with some people, but my prayer is that because of this time of struggle, my relationships with others will only get stronger. God loves ME, I'm called to love Him back...which empowers me to love others.

God is GOOD! ♥

Ecclesiastes 7:18 say, "It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. The man who fears God will avoid ALL extremes." Luke 11:11-12 says, "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

Now I know to some those two passages don't really go together, but to me right now they mean EVERYTHING. Please bear with me right now because I'm only just starting to get used to writing exactly what I'm thinking, which is generally pretty random, so here I go.

For some reason I struggle with letting myself be happy. If I'm happy I tend to think I'm doing something spiritually wrong, which is a COMPLETE misrepresentation of who God is...which is GOOD! Did you know that? God is GOOD! Sometimes I struggle with believing that, but time and time again God proves that He really is GOOD. That is why I try to end ALL of my blogs with "God is GOOD!♥" because it is something very important to remember. So, back to the passages...as those of you who have kept up with my blog/my life in general know, I recently started down the path of 'non-singleness', and well...it's been GREAT! God has really used the relationship in general to teach me LOTS of things (including this current topic), and has definitely been using my boyfriend to challenge, grow, and strengthen my faith in HIM. However, I started to feel like maybe I was holding on to my boyfriend too tight. I've had kind of a lot of people walk out of my life recently, and have had to say some pretty tough Goodbyes, but one Goodbye I don't think I could do would be saying goodbye to my boyfriend. Then I started to worry...which was my first problem, now that I'm looking back, that maybe since I couldn't POSSIBLY right now imagine giving up my relationship with Jeremy, that meant that I was holding onto him TOO TIGHTLY and needed to break-up with him in order to have a healthy relationship with God. Now here's where the Ecclesiastes verse comes in...I probably really have been holding too tightly to my relationship with Jeremy, but that does NOT mean I'm supposed to just let it go all together...that's just jumping to another extreme. Just because I enjoy a GOOD gift (one that I...my parents, and many others have been praying about in general for, for years) to a little bit of an extreme, doesn't mean I need to go to the other extreme and feel like I need to give it back...'sorry God, what you gave me was just too good and I'm enjoying it too much, so I need to give it back..." That doesn't make any sense. Now YES, I do need to place my relationship in God's hands, and let it be under his control, but my fear of losing people...which makes me hold on to people tightly...which makes it harder for me to let go of people...shouldn't be and isn't a good reason for throwing away a GOOD, ENCOURAGING, God-led relationship. Yes, if my boyfriend becomes an idol, and I start to place him in the way of my relationship with God, I need to ask God to help me switch that back around...dropping the relationship isn't the answer...Placing God back where He belongs in my life IS...

So God, I recognize You as Lord of my life, I thank You for being a giver of GOOD gifts, and even though at times I try to make myself believe that I don't deserve good gifts, You just keep reminding me that...no I don't deserve anything...that's why it's a GIFT :) So, I thank you for Jeremy, and just ask for continued guidance...You ARE GOOD! ♥

God is GOOD! ♥

I know I'm not alone in this, but one thing I HATE doing is saying Goodbye...I especially hate saying Goodbye to a friend. Why do we hate doing that? Because we don't like losing people...we don't like not having people we care about NOT be around. Missing people HURTS. However, when you know Jesus, you can make friends that last FOREVER. It doesn't matter where they end up living here on earth or how far apart you are, you can rest assured that if they KNOW JESUS as their LORD and SAVIOR, you’ll get to spend ETERNITY with them in Heaven. AMEN!

So, be sad. Cry…those are ALL healthy things to do, but don’t let yourself stay there. Start focusing on making friends that last forever, and then you won’t have to miss ANYBODY for very long .

God is GOOD!♥

I am a VERY forgetful person, and I am well known for writing myself little reminders on the backs of my hands. In fact, my friends laugh at me because in my Senior picture, if you look closely, you can see the word 'Copies' written on my hand :)
Well, recently I have been using the same method to remember spiritual truths that God has been trying to teach me.

Over the last year I have had multiple bible verses, the words Love, Forgive, and Peace written on the back of my left hand, and often many get put BACK on. Recently, I have had a new word written;'Down'. As in "This side DOWN". Often times I am tempted to want to grasp for control of my life, especially when things seem to be falling apart. However, those are the times God is calling me to TRUST HIM MORE! Also, whenever I start to hold onto something too tightly, or forget where the good gifts come from, that's when I start to worry. However, when I remember that ALL good and perfect gifts come from above (James 1:17),and hold 'my possessions, and relationships' with lose-hands, that's when I'm able to relax and let God lead. He knows what's going on, He has a plan, and He'll be there with me through it all. If I hold my hands open to Him, and keep nothing back, HE is MORE than capable of holding my ALL in HIS hands. Thank You God!

God is GOOD! ♥

When I was a Freshman in college a friend of mine gave up negative thinking for Lent. Now, she recognized that in general it is IMPOSSIBLE to give up ALL negative thinking, but to her it was more of a chance to work on being POSITIVE. One of the things she did to focus on being positive was make a list of 100 things that made her happy. Once she was finished, she posted it on Facebook as a note, and encouraged the rest of us to do the same. Well, it took me almost a year before I eventually posted my list onto Facebook. Now, almost a year since THEN, I no longer have a Facebook, and have a serious gluten sensitivity that required me to make a few changes, which prompted the creation of this blog. I'd like to encourage all of you to make one for yourself. It's so easy to get caught up in the negative things of this life, it's nice to sometimes take a moment and remember the POSITIVE ones, big AND small! :) Anywho, here it is...my semi-revised list now back online in BLOG form...

100 Things that make me HAPPY!

1. JESUS
2. Putting together 1000 piece jigsaw puzzles
3. Curling up in REALLY soft blankets
4. Making snow angels
5. Reading a good book
6. Drinking a good cup of Joe in the morning
7. CHOCOLATE
8. Followed closely by Ice-cream…rough days require dosages of both ;)
9. Hoods!!! I love wearing hoods
10. Stealing/barrowing boys’ Hoodies and wearing them…they are more comfortable and tend to smell GREAT!
11. Shoes…fun shoes make me VERY happy…especially when on sale =)
12. Sales, Sales, Sales…I do not like buying things full price
13. Dancing and singing like no one is around whether they are or not ;)
14. APRIL FOOL’S DAY…I’m pretty sensitive, but I like to think I can take a joke…I usually just give REALLY GOOD responses to being pranked…don’t worry, I tend to forgive once I know it’s a joke…
15. Making new friends
16. Going to foreign countries
17. Meeting and getting to know people from foreign countries
18. PLAYING SOCCER!!!! Or actually anything related to the sport…I LOVE IT ♥♥♥
19. Solving the Rubik’s Cube
20. Blogging
21. socks =D
22. When the Hungarians use the “Happy Carrots” ^ ^ and me using a REDICULOUS amount of … (ellipses)
23. FreeCreditReport.com commercials
24. ENRIQUE!!!! ♥ [Iglesias]
25. Ultrasounds on my leg
26. My Two Random obsessions: CANADA…and Clark ;)
27. Listening to music…dancing to music…singing a-long with music..MUSIC!
28. KAREOKE!!!
29. Peanut Butter…yum :p
30. Leah and I have decided that…seeing pretty cars, driving pretty cars, owning pretty cars, and having pretty boys who can fix our pretty cars…make/ will make us happy
31. I LOVE DRIVING!
32. Going to the chiropractor
33. Drumming my fingernails on surfaces when I have long nails…and listening to the rhythmic beat
34. Getting texts…even though it costs me .3 of a minute on my TracPhone…
35. Getting into different TV shows with friends and family
36. CAFFEINE!!!
37. Using fun words/making up fun words SNUGGLEISHOUSNESS!
38. Making people Lose The GAME!!! Mwahahahaha =)
39. Random YouTube videos
40. Talking to strangers
41. Hating the Cubs and Apple computers
42. Skype!
43. Smooth legs ;)
44. My soccer pillow
45. Bair Lake Bible Camp
46. Knowing I have a Heavenly Father who loves me no matter what!
47. Comfy clothes/fun slippers
48. Random adventures…especially late night ones ;)
49. Star gazing
50. Walking barefoot (esp. ON A BEACH!)
51. Painting my nails
52. Seeing a person’s face when you give them something they REALLY wanted…and not just something you knew they’d like.
53. Playing games (board…card…etc…) with friends and family.
54. Getting a good grade on something I worked really hard on
55. Knowing other people are proud of me
56. Making other people happy
57. Peanut MnM’s/SourPatchKids/Mike and Ikes ...All equally delicious
58. My computer doing what it’s supposed to…when I need it to -Computers!
59. Listening to little children worship God through song
60. Taking “strolls” with God
61. Brushing my teeth
62. Solving problems/Resolving conflict
63. Sunrises/Sunsets (preferably over water)
64. Silly Love Songs ^^
65. MORE COWBELL
66. Watermelon :p
67. Listening to jam sessions!!! =)
68. Running soundboards
69. Cheese
70. BIG trucks
71. Operating heavy machinery
72. Having a legitimate pair of work pants
73. SNOW
74. Sledding
75. Learning to snowboard
76. Shooting guns
77. Randomly decorating a room
78. ‘Evolution’ cooking or baking
79. Drinking tea (with the pinkie up of course) ^^ …milk and sugar too!
80. Randomly speaking Spanish… ‘es ovio’ o ‘claro!’
81. Making something with my hands
82. Learning a new skill/teaching someone else a new skill
83. Animoto.com
84. Taking fun pictures/having crazy photos to remember a lot of crazy times, and some crazy people ^^
85. A good smelling candle
86. Sleep
87. Sweet HATS!
88. Agua is a very good thing to drink
89. CaNdYcAnEs ^^
90. Messing around with Photoshop
91. Coloring (and being OCD about it)
92. Being able to know EXACTLY what time it is the moment I open my eyes
93. Being thrown into pools
94. Receiving and giving back massages
95. Having my hair played with/ playing with hair
96. Receiving random notes
97. Just spending time with the people I love
98. RANDOMNESS/spontaneity ^^
99. Bubbles
100. ♥LOVE♥

I've read that in orienteering there are 3 important things a person needs to know: Where they are going, how they are going to get there, and where they are at. However, often times in the military, for safety measures very little information about a location is given. Often people are only told things on a 'need to know' basis. Many times in life, I find it hard to figure out where I'm at or to see where I'm going and how I'm going to get there. However, I know that I have an All-powerful,All-knowing, Ever-present Commander in Chief, and I trust HIM to let me know what I need to know and when I need to know it. I trust HIM to guide me to the places I need to be, and to provide the ways to get there. All I need to focus on is HIM, and the mission He has given me to accomplish. Sometimes I feel lost, and sometimes it IS because I'm in the wrong place, but sometimes I don't know where I'm at because I don't need to know, and that's OKAY because if I know that's where God wants me to be, then I'm not really lost.

So God, I don't really know where I'm at...I don't really know what's going to happen, or where I'm going...and I don't know how I'm going to get there...what I DO know is that God you called me to be HERE at BLBC last year for a reason, that you brought Jeremy and I together this summer for a reason, and that YOU are still just as in control and present in my life and the lives of the people around me as You were back then. Knowing that, I can be more confident as I go forward that You will be there for me, and will guide me along the path of life that is BEST. I will generally not understand what's going on or why...but You are the God who 'does not change like shifting shadows', You are the same Yesterday, Today, and Forever. So, even when the world seems a mess, and I start to get disoriented, all I need to do is fix my eyes on YOU. THANK YOU!

God is GOOD! ♥

Well, September is almost over, and boy a lot has happened. First, we have 3 new people in the Outfitters program: Steve, Elaine, and Carissa. On top of adjusting programmatically to there being more people, it has also meant an adjusting of housing since we had to make living space for our new members. The preparation was more stressful than the actual event, and I’m LOVING having more people. I’ve always been a fan of big groups; I come from a bigger-ish family, and coming back to a home filled with activity is nice. Sure, it’s not all fun and games, but it’s been good. :) Organizationally, it’s been REALLY great having more people…we can get almost ALL of camp cleaned in ONE work day. It’s AWESOME!

With the end of summer came the starting up of our ‘normal’ schedule again. For Tool Time we are finishing up the RZIM Apologetics series that we did half of last year. It’s been really good thus far (It’s a highlight of my week!). For The Feast, we are doing Navigators again, except this time we 2nd year Outfitters get to teach. Hannah and Mike are doing the first book this month. Nate and I get to teach the second book next month. It should be fun. I’m really looking forward to it. The discussions have been really good. It’s interesting to look back at what we learned last year, find new things this year, and add ideas that the 1st year Outfitters catch that we didn’t. It’s a really good time to just get into the Word together, and to discuss Truth.

Keep praying for Outfitters and camp. Let me know how I can be in prayer for you.
I Love you guys!

God is GOOD! ♥

As most of you know, I am a part of a two-year discipleship program at camp, and I just finished my first year. (This blog is a part of the ‘assignments’ for the program…the monthly newsletter part) I started this program really excited…admittedly nervous, but still excited because I KNEW this is where God wanted me to be, and I KNEW He was going to do GREAT things. However, going into this 2nd year, I have not been as excited. It was a REALLY good year, and God did do A LOT of things. I grew, I changed, I was challenged, I got to witness other people grow, learn and change, but I was tired. I didn’t WANT to be here anymore. The ‘novelty’ of it had run out. It was hard work. It’s tough learning to live and work, do life, and fight spiritual battles with people. Great things happen, but there are plenty of NOT SO GREAT things…However (obviously), I didn’t back out. I had made a commitment for two years, and I knew that I was supposed to stick to it. I thought about my boyfriend, and how God brought us together. How I was really excited…and admittedly nervous, to start out on this new path, but I KNEW God was leading us, and KNEW (know) that God was going to do (is doing) GREAT things…however, I also know that there will come a time when the emotions/the excitement/ the ‘novelty’ will wear-off/go-away. We will face tough times, however, just because I will no longer “FEEL” the same way I did when I made the commitment doesn’t mean I should break the commitment. The reasons for making it don’t change, just the emotions. So, if I wouldn’t drop my boyfriend just because I wasn’t ‘excited’ to be in the relationship anymore or because it ‘got tough’…why would I drop out of the program?

I’m SO thankful that I stayed, because already God has been rebuilding that excitement in me, and has already been teaching me SO much. I LOVE the study we’re doing on Apologetics, and the new people who joined have been really great. It’s going to be another tough year, but it’s going to be another GREAT year of growth, learning, and change.

God is GOOD! ♥

“Dance with me-oh Lover of my soul- to the song of all songs. Romance me-oh Lover of my soul,-to the song of all songs.” Lyrics, mere words to song, but is that really all they are? I’m not exactly sure which worship song they are SUPPOSED to belong with, but for me they have been an addition to the song ‘How He Loves’ **Random interjection: This song came up on ‘shuffle’ while I was writing this blog ^^ ** Have you really ever thought about how God romances us? I mean, everybody talks about how the church is the ‘bride of Christ’, and how a man is supposed to love his wife, like Christ loves the church…but what does that really look like?

For most of my life, I have been single, but I’ve wanted God to romance me… I knew/KNOW that He held/holds…protected and PROTECTS my heart, but it’s only now, as I’m barely in the beginning stages of my first ‘romance’ that God has really been able to reveal HIS ‘romantic’ side in a more personal and REAL way.

My boyfriend and I have a long distance relationship. We met at camp, and spent most of the summer around each other, but this Fall we find ourselves separated by just a ‘few miles’ and a couple of hours; me still at camp and him near Detroit. It’s tough, and there are a lot of times when I really wish that he could be here sharing in some moment/event/ whatever…However, what I’m learning to do is invite God into those moments, and not just to talk. I mean, it’s good to pray to God, and I DO talk to Him about my life and things that are going on, and it IS good to thank and praise Him for who He is and for what He has done, but it’s been AWESOME just letting Him come and BE with me; letting God fill my need for companionship. There are plenty of times when my boyfriend and I will just be hanging out, and we won’t do anything. We just rest and enjoy BEING together…and that’s what I’m learning to do with God. And, you know what? In the long run, it’s more satisfying. What I’m learning more and more is that the things of this world really do NOT give us what we need. God is the ONLY One who can really satisfy. Memories of moments I’ve spent with my boyfriend often bring up a desire to be in that same moment…to repeat it. It hurts sometimes to remember that he is NOT here. However, remembering moments with God are still just as satisfying because God is still JUST AS PRESENT NOW as He was THEN. The moment doesn’t serve as a reminder of the distance, but as a reminder of His Nearness ^^ … Now, here is my disclaimer: It’s not bad to miss people or to look back and remember special moments, you just want to be careful and remember that it is GOD who truly satisfies our need for companionship and who REALLY keeps us from being alone. If we start depending on other people to fill us, we’re only going to end up worse off. People can NOT always be there, and WILL not always be there. They’ll make mistakes, and they WILL disappoint and hurt us…that’s life. God, however, will ALWAYS be there, and will ALWAYS love us.

God is GOOD! ♥

Well...once again, I've come to the end of another month, and the close of another summer at Bair Lake Bible Camp. The blog I posted right before this one kind of gives a long 'summary' of what God's been teaching me/what's been on my mind, but I didn't say anything about the actual events of my month so I figured I should probably right another one doing so.

The first half of August went by in a blurr of end of the summer camp. It ended with two camps being on the same week. Fun, fun, fun for AV. However, I made BOTH movies,a summer-summary video for staff, and STILL got 4 hours of sleep. WIN! So it took all summer, but hey...it still makes me happy. Now all I have to do is finish writing the Manual. :) Yes, that's right, I am now working on writing an AV Summer Manual. Complete with diagrams ^^ It should be good, and hopefully VERY informative/helpful for future AV workers.

Now that the summer camps are over, summer staff has pretty much ALL left **tear(s)**, but with the end of summer comes the start of retreat season and GUEST GROUPS! We hit the ground running, with a full-week long guest group,followed by back-to-back (some slightly over-lapping) groups...whew! We've kept busy doing turn-overs, making sure each new group has a clean place to stay :)

The biggest change that's coming is four more people will be joining the discipleship group. I'm very excited because I KNOW God is going to use Outfitters to do GREAT things in these peoples lives. Housing, will be interesting, but I'm trusting God to work all that out. Yes, I'll be honest, I'm not SUPER-EXCITED about sharing our little apartment with two more girls, but God's given me a peace about it, and like I said, I KNOW they're here for a reason :)

On a HIGH note, starting on August 25th (and actually Aug.24th after work!) We 1-year Outfitters were given some vacation time that doesn't end till the new Outfitters move in on September 1st. It's only 1 week, but still, I'm thankful. I got to spend the first half in the Detroit-area with my boyfriend and his family. It was my first time visiting them, and Detroit. It was a lot of fun, and I already miss him (long-distance relationships kind of suck, but hey! God got us this far...), but than I was able to take the Amtrak (another new experience) back home to IL to spend the 2nd half of my vacation at home with the fam. It's been GREAT. I've been able to chill, and just spend quality time with my family who I don't see all that often. I was even able to watch my younger brother's (I can't say little b/c he is now taller and more musclely than me ^^ ) first soccer game of the season. He's a senior and on the varsity team. I feel SO old. I don't really no anyone on the guys' team anymore, and I used to be the manager. Oh well. Such is life...

and that catches me up to today! =D

God is GOOD! ♥

“I have come that they may have life and have it to the full” (John 10:10b) Jesus is saying that through HIM there is life to be lived; a life that is FULL and good. In Jeremiah 29:11 God promises to have a plan for OUR lives; one that is not harmful but prosperous and hopeful. But how do we get this FULL life?

Well, first off, you HAVE to have Jesus. Jesus is the one who is speaking in John 10, but also later in John he says, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”(J14.6) Jesus is saying He is the ONLY way to life, there is NO OTHER option. However, once you have accepted Jesus as Lord that is NOT the end. Christianity isn’t a just another ‘religion’ it is a LIFESTYLE. In Matthew, Jesus says, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (M16:24) However, this also, in and of itself, is not the key to having a FULL life. If one just focused on ‘living’ the ‘good Christian life’, they could easily become legalistic, and lose out on the JOY of living in the FREEDOM that comes from living with God. “Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is FREEDOM” (2 Corinthians 3:17). That’s where I’m at…kind of.

I know I’m not perfect…in fact I lived in almost perpetual regret and fear of people finding out the faults I KNOW I have. So, I tried to set boundaries, make standards, live ‘inside the lines’ so to speak, in order to insure as few mistakes, failures, and embarrassments as possible. However, living that way, keeps me from really being able to live. A part of life is taking those RISKS, making MISTAKES, that’s how we learn and discover new things. God didn’t save us in order for us to live in a box for the rest of our ‘redeemed’ life. He came to FREE us, and give us an ABUNDANT life.

Also, as I’ve been thinking about it, I realized that my placing myself ‘in a box’ is actually rather arrogant of me, and ultimately shows a lack of trust in God, and His ability to guide and protect me. By limiting myself to some basic “dos and don’ts”, I miss out on the variety of opportunities God wants to open up to me. As I was telling someone the other day, life isn’t all Black and White. Good things don’t all come in singular packages. Some of you have already heard my ‘Garden of Eden’ Theory: Some things God specifically labels as bad, but God generally gives us choices and simply takes pleasure in us making good choices. For the most part, I have been working off that theory…for ‘bigger’ decisions. However, for the day-to-day living, I have not. I’ve been living like God is some big overlord just waiting for me to screw-up so He can punish me. Often times I feel ‘trapped’ into obedience and completely drained of energy and enthusiasm, facing two dismal options: displeasing God or misery. Well, I was miserable, but I was determined to be a ‘good little soldier’. So I’d put my smile on, and did what I thought needed to be done. Needless to say, that’s not the abundant life Jesus was talking about, and despite what I thought, my misery wasn’t really glorifying to God either. “…the Fruit of Spirit is…JOY” (Galatians5:22a). Going back to John, Jesus says in Chapter 15 “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples” (J15:8). Yes, He does also say a chapter earlier “if you love me, you will obey what I command” (J14:15), but Jesus isn’t looking for mindless following, He’s looking for people who LOVE; love God, love others, and LOVE THEMSELVES. Yes, there is the famous passage about the Greatest Commandment (Matthew 22:37-40), and the multiple passages about putting others first (“The first shall be last” Matthew 19:30) and dying to self (ex: Galatians 2:20). However, I think we as Christians lose sight of the fact that our ‘joy’ isn’t all about heaven. Yes, our hope is in what Jesus did for us and there being a perfect place to go when we die, but that’s not all there is…if so, KILL ME NOW!

Fortunately, that’s not how it’s supposed to be, I agree with the Psalmist when he says, “I am still confident in this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” (P27:13). Yes, the world is corrupted, and has been since The Fall back in Genesis chapter 3. However, in the two preceding chapters, readers will find a whole description of the way life was supposed to be, and in a sense, can still be WITH CHRIST. When Christ comes into a person’s life, He doesn’t ‘just’ save them, He makes them NEW. “If anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW creation. The old has gone, the NEW has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17). We’re made NEW, and no longer have to live under the bondage of the law. For centuries the Jewish nation lived under a strict set of laws, and rules that are all found in the Old Testament. When Jesus came, He fulfilled the law, paid the penalty, and opened the door to us being able to live FREE; free from the power of sin, death, and the devil. Call me a radical, but free to follow our hearts because they’re no longer deceitful and wicked, free to dream bigger than we EVER thought possible and then STILL have God blow our minds because He is able to “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine”(Ephesians 3:20)…which is one of my FAVORITE verses by the way. We have a God for whom “nothing is impossible” (Luke 1:37), who’s fruits are “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control”(Galatians 5:22-23), who made the universe and everything in it (Genesis 1&2). Why live a life that doesn’t reflect God’s great and AWESOMENESS (Nehemiah 4:14a.5ish ) ? We don’t need rules, we need JESUS!

To close, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy, the devil, is prowling around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (2Peter 5:8), and the devil likes to play us into the extremes; in this case: legalistic versus recklessness. Don’t let “freedom” be your excuse for doing something foolish, but don’t let legalism stop you from doing something GREAT! Ecclesiastes states, “The man who fears God will avoid all extremes” (E7:18b), so relax, trust God, and if you have any doubts ASK. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the PEACE of God which transcends ALL understand will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4: 6&7). I want to be a woman of PEACE, and who’s filled with JOY. I’d like my epitaph to read, ‘A woman filled with the Holy Spirit, and whose life was characterized by Its FRUIT’. What do you want yours to say? Does your life now reflect it?


God is GOOD! ♥

Yep, once again another month has flown by. My verse for the month/the summer Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
That verse and reference are taped rather conspicuously on the wall of my office. Camp is going great, and I haven't had anymore disasters like my first week. There are still it's down times, and stressful times, but overall I'm doing GREAT! However, it is so easy to start worrying about, or getting anxious about things that we have no control over. We need to do what we've been called to do, and let God handle the rest. We can't control other people, the weather, or technology. Only God is All-powerful, and that's a REALLY GOOD thing. He does things so much better than I ever could. He expands my dreams and hopes farther than my own imagination. I thank Him for daily providing, being ever trust-worthy, and for being there ALWAYS. Rest assured, no matter what happens, what's going on, how you feel, He IS THERE, and loves you, and wants the give you a life that is full and abundant.

God is GOOD!

Four weeks of a year comparatively are not much, but many significant things can still happen in such a short amount of time. In my last newsletter, I kind of introduced June when I was talking about my birthday, but now June is gone, and I’m starting day three of July. Oh, dear…hold on, because my birthday seems like it happened FOREVER ago.

First off, summer here at camp officially started this month. Four days after my birthday the summer staff started working. We have over 20 college-ish age people (AKA my age people) working as paid staff this summer. It’s been nice, and kind of crazy at the same time to have more of my peers around camp outside of Outfitters.
With summer, my job as AV Director also officially started. As I type this, I’m currently waiting for my 2nd week’s summary video to generate. It’s been kind of a long couple of weeks AV-wise, but I understand that starting a new system means putting in some extra work at the beginning. So, that’s what I’m doing. It’s been a process to figure out what works best, and what is the most efficient way to go about making the summary videos.

Lastly, but MOST importantly, what has God been teaching me over the last 4 weeks? Praise Jesus, Many, MANY things. It’s amazing how much my views on things can change, and how God really does control the heart. This past month, I’ve continued to learn more about love. What it is, what it looks like. One main lesson was the concept of really loving someone like a brother, when they aren’t. Being able to acknowledge it, and accept it. I know I'm being vague, but much of what I've been learning this month has been rather abstract and it is hard for me do adequately verbalize it at this current time in writing. I'd LOVE to talk about it though. God has been doing GREAT things, in my life, at camp, and in the lives of the people around me, and I KNOW He is going to continue to do so. All praise to "Him who is able to immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us." (Ephesians 4:20) That's probably my favorite verse, and I come back to it a lot. I'm so thankful for a God who goes beyond anything I could dream of, I pray that He continues to expand my hopes and dreams, but still, I'll NEVER be able to fully understand God's true essence. PRAISE HIM!

God is GOOD! ♥

Yep...it is now a new month. Time for me to talk about the events of May. Well, it's been kind of crazy (as slightly anticipated, probably a little more than originally expected, but...) First off, Camp's Men's Retreat was the last day in April-the first weekend in May. I did AV. It was definitely a learning experience AV-wise, but it was also really cool to witness such a powerful weekend, where I really believe Men's lives were changed. The next weekend, My brother graduated, and I got to go home for that, and I got to spend time with my mother(as it was conveniently Mothers' Day weekend as well!) . It was AWESOME. The next weekend I co-hosted, and then left with my fellow Outfitters and other Bair Lake staff (including all of our mentors) for a road-trip to the Creation Museum. It was a lot of fun. We stayed at a local Christian camp Sunday night (in tepees!), and then spent all of Monday at the Museum. It was really cool to walk through a museum that didn't date things to MILLIONS of years, and to hear(and see) the Gospel message preached at the end! Plus I touched a llama =D THREE llamas actually ^^ Anyways, continuing on, at the end of that week, I had two friends come in Thursday-Saturday to help me organize camp's AV (Audio-Visual) department. I'm SO grateful to both of them for all of their help. I could not have done what we did without them. Side-note: For the summer, my job is going to be AV Director, which has caused it's own stresses and lessons. All-in-all, I know it's going to be a GREAT summer. Lastly, this past weekend (Memorial Day weekend) I was able to go home again (and bring one of my fellow Outfitters with me) in order to go camping. For the last 3 years, my family has been going to Shades Park (near Turkey Run in IN) to camp with 3 other families that we don't get to see very much outside of Memorial weekend. It was a lot of fun. There is usually VERY little organization of activities and it's mostly one BIG chill weekend, with a bunch of God-fearing, fun-loving people. It's DEFINITELY one of the highlights of my YEAR!

So today is also my birthday. Yes, I'm 20 today. I have now been alive for 2 decades. With time, the months seem to get shorter and shorter, and May was no different. Today, as I reflect back on May, as I reflect back to my 19th birthday, as I reflect back through the last 2 decades, one thing stands out; clear evidence of God working in my life.

If you have been following my blog, you know that the last few months have not been 'easy', but neither has some other parts of my life, but that's life. We live in an imperfect world, with imperfect people. I'M NOT PERFECT. I'm going to make mistakes, so are the people around me. The only 'person' I can really trust to NEVER fail me is God. That's what I've been learning. That's really what God has been saying all these years.
Life is going to have it's trials and hardships, but in those times are we relying on ourselves, the people around us, or are we relying on the All-powerful, All-knowing, Ever-present God, who created ALL THINGS?

I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Psalms 16:8

The theme for May was humility, and God certainly started lessons on day one. In many different areas of my life, God has been showing me that I FIRST need to humble myself to HIM, and place whatever the thing is at HIS feet first, and trust HIM with it, but then to also humble myself to the people around me, and to trust what GOD is doing in their lives, and what HE is teaching them. My first priority is to listen to and follow what God is specifically directing me to do, the 2nd is to listen and follow the people who God puts over me.
May has been a month of laughter, a month of tears, a time of trials, a time of learning, a time of growth, a time of change and tradition, transitions, busyness, relaxation, RANDOMNESS! But what month hasn't? What month doesn't go by without a variety of emotions being felt, and random things experienced, obstacles faced, and lessons learned?
In the end, as I look back on life it ALL comes back to Ecclesiastes. "There is a time for everything..."(E3:1), but are you going to stop at "Everything is meaningless" (E1:2) or will you recognize that with GOD ALL things have meaning (Colossians 1:15-20)?

God is GOOD! ♥

Mark 4:35-41 and Luke 8:22-25 record the story of Jesus calming the storm. This amazing story depicts Jesus' FEARLESSNESS even in the face of a TERRIFYING situation. Last week the Mark story was brought to my attention a lot, along with Mikeschair's song "Let the Waters Rise". Two lessons have come from the mediation on the passage and the message of the song.

1- God is WAY bigger than any worldly situation. Even if to us the situation seems grim. God is not startled/frightened, He's calm/collected and IN CONTROL. He has the WHOLE world under His authority, and there is NOTHING GREATER than HE! Praise God!

2- because He is this GREAT and POWERFUL God, who really does hold all authority in heaven and earth, HE IS the ONE to FEAR. May's theme is "Humility", and the first step to humility is recognizing our proper place in relation to God. For things to work out right, we need to allow God to be our ALL, to step-out of ourselves, and let God take over. It sounds constricting, but really when we reach that perfect state of humility, and fully become the empty vessels for God to use, and fill with HIS glory, that is when we are able to really LIVE; live in the peace/joy/goodness...(the Fruits of the Spirit Galatians 5:22-23)the blessings that come from living in perfect harmony with our Creator! and we're promised glory with (THROUGH) HIM in the end.

"You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being." Revelation 4:11"

"...the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and one who rules like the one who serves." Luke 22:26b

"For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. when Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Colossians 3:3-4

God is Good! ♥

Like a baby wrapped in its mother's womb
I lie on the floor while my tears consume,
all the pain inside my heart,
as I watch my world start to fall apart.

The phantom of control now gone,
I look for something to lean on.
I need someone strong to hold me,
Who'll never leave me, or forsake me.
Someone who'll put my life back together,
Someone who can make it better.

Jesus, You're the one I need.
You're the one who's EVERYTHING.
Through You, all things were made.
Through You, everything is saved.

Take my heart and hold it closely.
Cleanse me Lord, and make me holy.
Set my life apart for you.
Transform my heart, and make it new.

Give me joy I can't describe.
Peace and patience in hard times.
Grant me wisdom when I pray,
and strength to face each new day.

And lastly Lord, please give me love,
the kind that only comes from above.
Love that only you can give,
but the love I need, so I can live.

God is GOOD! ♥

This past Wednesday, I was able to refocus on God, and like the popular Christian song says 'and all of a sudden, I (was) unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, and I realized just how beautiful You are, and how GREAT Your affections are for ME"!

These are the words God gave me that night...the 2nd one was started at an early time, but God let me finish it (and REDEEMED it!) =D YEAH God!

***

Who am I without You?
Who am I without Your love?
Who am I without You near me,
without your great plan?
Who am I but Your creation;
clay inside the Master's hands?
Who am I, but how You made me?
Who am I, but who I am?

***

It's hard to pray
when I'm trying to convince myself that everything's OK

Once I stop pretending,
then God can start His mending.

Once I stop focusing on the need,
then God can start to lead.

Once I start to trust in God's plan,
then I'll be able to rest in His hands.

Once I start counting the blessings I've received,
then true joy can be conceived.

When I stop resisting,
then you become my everything.

when I think about what Jesus has done,
that's when I remember how much I AM LOVED!

***

GOD IS GOOD! ♥

Another month has flown by, and the winner for the most used phrase this month; 'God is working on it'.

Speaking honestly here, April has been one of the hardest months for me. I've probably cried more in the last 2 weeks, than all of last year. Also, these weren't just tears, this was full-out crying to God in pain, seeking His guidance, asking for forgiveness, begging to see His presence in my life. I have a really hard time expressing myself, and what I express generally doesn't accurately reflect what is going on inside me. What I've learned is that I also tend to do that with God, which is bad because He is the ONE who already knows EVERYTHING (more than I do!). This past month, I had what I would consider to be my first REAL lesson on what it means to cast all of my cares on the Lord (Psalms55:22/1Peter5:7)

'Rees Howells INTERCESSOR' was April's book for the month. It's a challenging biography of a man who lived a life of faith in total dependence on God, who had an understanding of what it meant to daily pick up his cross and follow Jesus. It challenges me to seek to have that kind of relationship with God, and to strive to surrender more and more of my life to God's will. The hardest moments/my biggest struggles are ALWAYS harder when I'm trying to control my life. I ask God 'why?', when all I need to do is remember WHO HE IS! Life isn't working out how I WANTED it to turn out...it's OK, because GOD is the one in control, and HIS way is the BEST way!

A verse God gave me this past month was Psalms 55:12 "Restore to me the JOY of your SALVATION and grant me a WILLING spirit to SUSTAIN me"

No matter what happens God is still on HIS THRONE!
"Praise be to the Lord, to God our SAVIOR, who daily bears OUR burdens" (Psalms 68:19)

God is GOOD! ♥

A popular question with a variety of answers. There are also many different forms of love.

This past weekend I was counseling for a Middle School Purity and Holiness retreat. The purpose of the retreat is to educate/equip/prepare Middle-schoolers how and why to make the choice (and future choices) to stay pure and live a life that is holy and pleasing to God. One challenge from the weekend was to ask a person to 'define love' when they tell you "I LOVE YOU!" It made me think about how I would answer. So, I would say that when you love someone, you put them entirely before you; their needs, health, dreams,happiness, etc... However, that can be VERY unhealthy, UNLESS there is someone who loves you that much, and is taking care of your needs. Meaning, in order to really LOVE we need to have an example of real love in our lives to be able to duplicate it. Unfortunately, this world isn't perfect, but we do have a God who is perfect.

Recently God has been trying to teach me about Agape love.

God loves mankind unconditionally, but He is able to do so because of the Trinity. The Trinity is a PERFECT example of love. Each part is constantly placing the priorities of the other two parts above their own. God exists in a perpetual state of perfect loves, hence 1 John 4's "God is LOVE". Therefore, God will ALWAYS be able to love others perfectly because He has a perfect love relationship to duplicate from. Now, as a human, I can be selfish and therefore, unable to love perfectly, thus being unable to be in a perfect relationship. However, my relationship with God, because of God's perfection, gives me the closest chance at having one. God's part will always be perfect and so it is simply a matter of strengthening my end of it (through HIS help of course). That way, as I grow more and more in love with God, I'll have an increasingly better example of love to duplicate towards others, despite the fact that both me and the other person are imperfect.

God calls us to 'love one another' (1John4:7&8), but we are only able to love 'because HE first loved us' (1John4:19)

God is GOOD!

THERE IS AN ENEMY...
"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (1Peter5:8)
...and it isn't another person.
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Eph.6:12)
THERE IS A SAVIOR
"Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death-that is the devil-and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death." (Heb.2:14-15)

Whenever I'm tempted to stay angry at a person, it helps to remember that 'We all sin', and Christ died for all of us. I need to pray for that person to find freedom and healing through Jesus instead of judging them and/or trying to 'fix' them myself.

God is GOOD!♥

I received a copy of this a few years ago, and it still challenges me as much (if not more) as it did than. I just thought I should share it with you all...

A Zimbabwe Pastors Prayer (a martyr)
I'm part of the fellow of the unashamed.
I have the Holy Spirit power.
The die has been cast.
I have stepped over the line.
The decision has been made-I'm a disciple of His.

I won't look back, letup, slow down, back away, or be still.
My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure.
I'm finished and done with low living, sight walking, smooth knees,
colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talk, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, position, promotions, plaudits or popularity.
I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded.
I now live by faith, lean in His presence, walk by patience,
am uplifted by prayer, and I labor with power.

My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my roads narrow,
my way rough, my companions are few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear.
I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away,
turned back, deluded, or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the enemy, pander at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won't give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up,
prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus.

I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me.
And, when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me.
My banner will be clear!
***

"If we confess with our mouths that 'Jesus is Lord', and believe in our hearts that God raised him from the dead we will be saved" (Rom.10:9), and we are given the right to become children of God (John 1:12). However, with that, we need to recognize the responsibility of being one of God's children. We have two choices, we can A, choose to live a life that is 'under the radar, not rocking the boat or making waves,still a child of God but with 'colorless dreams' and 'dwarfed goals'. Or B, we can let our 'light shine before men, that they may see (our) good deeds and praise (our) Father in heaven" (Matt.5:16).


How often have I been guilty of having 'colorless dreams' or 'dwarfed dreams'? We worship a God who can do "immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine" (Eph.3:20), "nothing is impossible with Him"(Luke1:37). We are HIS "workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works"(Eph.2:10). He has a plan for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, to give us a hope and future(Jer.29:11). Do we live in that truth? Do we proudly stand with Him, as HIS child, proclaiming the VICTORY we have in Jesus?

Let's break out of our comfort zones, and step out of the boxes we've placed ourselves (and God) into, putting our life in HIS hands...I want my banner to be clear, do you?

God is GOOD!♥

...Random interjection: I just killed my FIRST, TWO (10*) mosquitoes of the year, and have my SECOND (3rd&4th*) mosquito bites :( ...I LOVE Spring, but I HATE mosquitoes, unfortunately they LOVE ME :'( *(Actual numbers by the time I finished writing this blog)....
~~~~~~
Anywho...I wish I had a SWEET basketball analogy to go with my title, but I don't...sorry. I do not know enough about basketball to make an accurate correlation, though I am learning b/c you can NOT help but get into the sport of basketball when you live at camp...just about EVERYONE at least watches it. (WARNING: Basketball is contagious!)
So, I'm sure you can guess that I've watched a few college basketball games over the last few weeks, along with watching the ending games of camp's Mens' Church Basketball league games. Both have been quite enjoyable...but now for the real 'Madness' part of my blog...
If you've read my last two blogs, I'm sure you can kind of sense some of the INTENSE 'conversations' I've been having with God lately. I'm not really sure how to express it all. A friend of mine's life verse is John 3:30, and it's the first verse that comes to mind when thinking about my last few weeks..."HE must become greater; I must become less". It's NOT ABOUT ME!
"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you have died, and you life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory". (Colossians 3:1-4)
And really, we aren't really losing anything at all. When we give our lives to God, he is able to use us in ways we could NEVER even IMAGINE. Never forget how much God loves us, and wants what's best for us. I don't remember where I heard it, but one of my favorite quotes is "God is too loving to ever do anything unkind, and too wise to ever make a mistake".

God is GOOD! ♥

Jesus says in John 14:21 “Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my father and I too will love him and show myself to him.”
What does it mean to obey? What has God been asking me to do that I need to obey/ haven’t been obeying? It has certainly been a ‘hot-topic’ between me and him. Last Wednesday, I was participating in a day of Silence and Solitude, and one of the papers I was reading had a rather challenging request; “List two changes in your life that WOULD most glorify God?” Well, even though I feel like I have already been making some rather big changes, and some rather glorifying to God, I didn’t really know what changes I still needed to make, and which ones would be most glorifying to God.
So, I prayed about it, and right away the first thing I heard was about my hair. The moment I heard God ask for it though was the exact moment I realized how MUCH I valued it. I wanted to get angry, wanted to fight it/ blow it off. However, the more I went down that path, the more I realized it made sense for God to ask for it. Clearly, as strange as it seems to be typing this right now, I have been placing more value than I should on my hair. I’m going to be donating 10 inches this Monday.
So, that was ONE, but yes, God had a two. I’m still processing it, but I’m SURE I need to delete my Myspace (which wasn’t hard because I never use it), My Dailybooth account (which is currently impossible, but will be abandoned until I can delete it), and lastly Facebook. I still really don’t want to, and as of right now it isn’t deleted, but I’m in the process of breaking that connection (I just didn’t feel right deleting it super suddenly, without warning anybody). However, once again, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I was relying on Facebook to ‘keep me connected’, when really it has just been a HUGE source of guilt for not being able to do that, even though Facebook makes it ‘so easy’. Plus, God has really been trying to tell me, it’s OK, he knows what he is doing, and I won’t lose my friends. It’s going to be hard, but I KNOW that if I keep my focus on him, not only will I have the joy of being obedient, but I KNOW my relationships, with not just him, but with EVERYONE else will be made better, and more glorifying to him.
God is still GOOD!

This morning I went to church and listened to a message, by Pastor Robert Douglas, titled, "Do Something Passionately". It is part of a "Do Something: Make Your Life Count!" series, and it got me thinking...

Did you know that you were created with a purpose? That God has a plan for you? And how do we move from feeling OBLIGATED to JOYFULLY serving?

I think that part of it is recognizing that we have a purpose, but what I was learning about today was that we also have to learn to 'DELIGHT in the PLEASURE of our purpose'. Just as there is a 'sweet spot' in playing a sport or instrument, there is a 'sweet spot' to living, and that's right in the middle of God's Will. There is NO better feeling than KNOWING what I'm doing at a particular moment is what God wants me to do. It feels good, there is an unexplainable JOY in living my life God's way.
Not to say that there won't be any hard times, but God is working in the moments, we just have to 'DISCOVER the POWER of our perseverance'. Romans 5:1-5 says "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we REJOICE in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also REJOICE in our suffering, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance,character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us." If we believe in Jesus, we have the assurance of God's presence and plan, and GOODNESS...and ultimately Heaven. We aren't living for this world, but the next because of what Jesus did for us. That hope pulls us through the tough times, and ALSO God doesn't just leave us by ourselves to face the tough times alone, he gives us the Holy Spirit, who fills us with the POWER we need to overcome, and that is something to REJOICE about.
Finally, we have to 'DISCIPLINE the PRIORITIES of our possibilities'. We can't just have HOPE we also have to have the discipline to recognize what God is doing in our lives, and to recognize that even though what we are going through right now may not be fun, sometimes God uses those tough times to teach us something important, we just have to be open to hearing it/ accepting it. Than we will be able to reach our fuller potential. Discipline rarely FEELS GOOD, but "afterward there will be a quiet harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way" (Hebrews 12:11b)
Don't miss out on the abundant life God wants to give you. GO! Spend time with Him; Find out what His purpose is for you; Get passionate about it; Be empowered, and inspired by Him; Trust Him; Learn from Him; Seek Him; Abide in Him; Grow in Him; Obey Him; LOVE Him... Jesus said in John 15:9-11 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now REMAIN in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy my be in you and that YOUR JOY MAY BE COMPLETE". God is GOOD! ♥

(Is this thing on?...testing...testing...one, two, three...)

Hello and Welcome to my Blog!
I'm new to this whole Blogging thing, and my amateurishness will probably be VERY evident for awhile. However, I am very excited to learn more about blogging. If you EVER have any suggestions feel free to let me know. I'm always open to input.
Thanks for stopping by...